AboutNorthstar Expertise I can answer question about how to stay close to your significant other, despite the distance. I am currently in a long distance relationship, so I've experienced many problems first hand. Whether a person is having a hard time saying good-bye after a visit, dealing with time differences, bothersome siblings, or an overwhelming schedule; I have tips and ideas that will help people work through their problems and keep a level head. I understand that being in a LDR comes with a whole host of unique problems and situations that don't occur in relationships where both parties have easy access to each other. I also understand how easy it is to start playing mind games with yourself, and worrying over the past, present and future. I can answer questions about how to resolve conflict/trust issues, how to stay connected, and keep the spark burning.
Experience I am in a long distance relationship, so I know first hand how difficult and frustrating this arrangement can be. My advice will be two-fold, on the one hand I will be able to provide my insight, and on the other hand, my significant other will be able to provide his point of as well. This means I will better be able to see ANY situation from both a male and female perspective.
Education/Credentials I recently graduated from college with a BA in History
Question I have a beautiful girlfriend who loves me with all of her of my heart. The problem is that we live about 3 hours away and only get to see each other every other weekend. I love her with all of my heart and I miss her like everything. Do you know some way to ease the pain and maybe even to be together more? She works weird hours, so it makes it kinda hard.
Thanks and God Bless You!
Answer The first thing you need to do is realize how lucky you are. Three hours, although it may seem like a lot, really isn't that big of a deal. For example, my guy lives on the other side of the country. I don't get to see him every other weekend, instead it's every three to five months. I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad, I only wish to open your eyes a bit so you can appreciate your situation more.
LDR's require a great deal of work. Hopefully you are both taking turns travelling (ie she visits you one weekend, and she visits you the next time). If you don't have a rotating schedule, then you need to implement one immediately. In the meantime, set up a regular chat schedule where you can both sit down for a few hours one day and talk. This should happen once a week. You can also send little gifts to each other, write letters, and have internet dates as well. You can read a book together, and discuss what you do and don't like. You may be able to see each other more often if you both agree to meet half-way between your two places. This would cut down the travel time for both of you. Get a hotel room for a few nights, go sight seeing and have fun.
It's only natural that you are going to miss your significant other, but those emotions should not paralyze you OR prevent you from functioning normally. I find it very difficult immediately after a visit ends. For 1 or 2 days I go through a pattern of feeling sad and happy and sad again. It's a lot to process and deal with, and I don't stress myself out over it. I let my emotions run their course, and as long as I'm back to normal in a few days I don't let it bother me. You need to accept the sadness, in a way it's a good sign. It's a reminder that you care for this woman, and it gives you a reason to make this relationship work. Knowing when you will see her again SHOULD help your sadness. I always feel better once I know exactly when I am going to see my guy and I can see the days blocked off on my schedule. If you have a planner, I suggest that you make a note of when you are going to see your girl or when you are going to talk to her on the phone. This small visual reminder will give you something to look forward to and it should act as a little 'pick me up' when you are feeling down.
I hope these tips help you out. All the best to you.
