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expertise: over 3000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available uponrequest...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks

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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Marriage > Long Distance Relationships > Long Distance Relationship

Long Distance Relationships - Long Distance Relationship

Expert: Azure - 10/27/2009

Question
QUESTION: I've been in a relationship with this guy for about 7months now. I live in New York he lives in Texas. We have each other emails,myspace and twitter. we exchange numbers. we barly tlk on the internet because we have each other phone numbers. Im kinda glad that we barely don't talk on the internet anymore but all we do is text and text and text and us textin is similar to us sending messages on myspace/twitter. I wish we would talk on the phone more often its been @least 2wks since we really"talk" I know he knows that i would like 2tlk on the phone with him cause i don't really like texting and he knows that but texting is the only way we can commucate lately and i feel 4us 2 have communacation is to hear each other voices and have nice conversations. I'm not sure what my question is but I just need some type of advice

ANSWER: how often do u see each other?..ages?..is there a concrete plan for being together?

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: we seen each only once and that was this summer we are going to see each other again in december/jan.... we are both 20 we talk about marriage and moving in together once i finish school also having kids

Answer
unfortunately, this is 90 percent fantasy--all the texting in the world doesn't make up for seeing each other only ONE time; hopefully you haven't given up meeting/dating others; the bottom line is you only know what this guy wants you to know--unless you can see, touch, observe, do things together in the REAL world, all you have is alot of talk; people learn about each other when they observe how they act in different situations--you don't get to see that; my advice would be to lower expectations to zero, realize that the chances of this having a happy ending are slim, stay in touch if you choose, but make some changes so that this isn't the focus of your life, and future...figures--blame the messenger when you can't handle the message..a 1 for timeliness and politeness??..not to mention, the advice was correct...you weren't looking for my opinion, you wanted someone to validate your involvement--those ratings were totally unfair and disrespectful--i feel sorry for you...

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