AboutAzure Expertise expertise: over 3000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available uponrequest...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks
Question So I have been with my boyfriend for quite sometime but things don't seem to improve throughout the relationship. To shorten the story of the past, We've been in a long distance relationship before for at least 3 years but ended things because of the distance. We went a year without being together, while we both went our separate ways and started other relationships. I have recently decided to move where he is, once school finishes up and continue college there with him. He ended things with his previous girlfriend and well we got back together again. To get to the point, there have been problems between us with his ex-girlfriend. They have been talking again and she has kept insisting on getting back together with him but he always tries to tell her that he doesn't have feelings with her. I have told him just to ignore her and plainly end all connections with her but he says he feels lonely while I'm not there so I should cut him some slack and let them be friends. The only thing that makes me uncertain on them continuing this "friendly" relationship, is that there are times where he just ignores me completely the whole day without saying any word to me while he is out with her. So should I let him be friends with her or just put my foot down and tell him now? At this point I am frustrated and exhausted of fighting over it that I just don't even want to waste my time anymore. All I feel like doing is being happy with him in my life and try to get through school with him there but this its just making things difficult. Deep inside I want to let the relationship go and just stay with my family here instead of wasting my time, my money, and my education to be with him there. So can you help me on to decide what to do?
Answer stop wasting time, money, education, emotions, on a guy who obviously is sharing more than "friendliness" with his ex-girlfriend..putting your "foot down" won't stop anything, it'll just make it seretive...plus, what is his allegiance worth if you have to demand it...?
