AboutMichelle & Frank Expertise Michelle and Frank have been in a long distance relationship for over 2 years. For additional resources and advice on long distance relationships visit their website:
Recommended for long distance couples that have run out of things to talk about on the phone (very common problem). This has done wonders for our relationship:
Experience Michelle and Frank have been in a long distance relationship for over 2 years. Their relationship has not been easy and has been one roller coaster of a journey. Together, they have experienced a lot and with their experience, they offer their advice to you.
Question I have been in a long distance r/s with my bf since oct 2007. I live in US and he lives in UK, and we're both in our 30's. We struggled at times, but we were both somewhat happy i think, since we looked forward to what the fuure will hold for us ( me moving to live with him there permanently). I never doubted his love , until 2 months ago when he suddenly begin to change. he became furious from almost every lil think, we would endlessly argue with me on teh phone , then he will shut his phone off and ignore me. He kept accusing me that im taking too long to sort my finances here , and that he cant wait anymore, that i need to book the flight immediately or else. Its been getting worse for the past 2 weeks, now i have a dateline to book the flight by this friday or its over.
Although i can understand his frustration, because i miss him and want to be with him just as much, i dont understand why the sudden change. My gut feeling is telling me he probably met someone else there, or maybe his mates are encouraging him to break up with me ( he plays in a band, and has the attention of alot of girls, he could have anyone he wanted, if he so wished). I have confronted him about it, but he denied any reason for his change except that he cant cope with the long distance anymore. I want to believe him, because i love him so much, but now i have doubts, as why was/ is he treating me so badly now, making me cry almost every day, and blaming me for the distance.
I just want to know your opinion, what you suggest i do, im so lost and panicked at the moment. There is no way i can book the flight this week, btw. But im so afraid to tell him because he will finish with me right then and there. Im so frighten of losing him, he's my life.
A.
Answer Your gut sounds right. There is definitely a reason he is acting the way he is all of a sudden. For him to pressure you this way is wrong. If you can't get there this week than he should accept that. It is a big move to move to another country. It's not something you can do on a whim like he expects.
So there is definitely something fishy, whether or not he wants to admit it.
I know you're afraid of losing him, but to let him think you're moving there this week when you can't is still not the right thing to do. He just has to accept that you can't make the move right now, and if he can't accept that, than he isn't for you. It shows he doesn't care about you and it's selfish of him to continue to act this way.
No guy is your life, so don't look at this like that. If it turns out he isn't the one for you, your life will not be over.
