AboutMichelle & Frank Expertise Michelle and Frank have been in a long distance relationship for over 2 years. For additional resources and advice on long distance relationships visit their website:
Recommended for long distance couples that have run out of things to talk about on the phone (very common problem). This has done wonders for our relationship:
Experience Michelle and Frank have been in a long distance relationship for over 2 years. Their relationship has not been easy and has been one roller coaster of a journey. Together, they have experienced a lot and with their experience, they offer their advice to you.
Question I was in a long-distance relationship with a girl for about three years, but there were some problems revolving around her mother, who was not fond of the fact that her daughter was dating a non-Jew. As she was living at home, this intensified problems every time I visited her, to the point where I decided that she would need to come to see me next time rather than having me come to her, as I'm not living at home. Her mother, unfortunately, didn't agree that this should be the case and threatened to disown her should she try and visit me...
Needless to say, this was a point of friction and we got into several fights about it. The stress in her life, along with this, made things to the point where she decided she needed to break up with me, rather than try and deal with things. This was about a month ago. I haven't heard from her since and the one time I tried to communicate with her, she ended up blocking me before I could say anything! I still can't get her off my mind, and I feel like this is affecting my whole life... I'm moody and depressed and even at times where I think I'm dealing okay, something will happen and remind me of what I had and put me right back where I started.
I genuinely loved this girl and want to make things better, but I don't see what I can do to change ANYthing right now... It'd be nice to just be able to get on with my life! Any advice for someone in this lousy situation?
Answer You have a really tough situation and it seems that you are open to getting back with her since you love her so much still. But you also feel that it might just be better for the both of you if you can move on.
If you want to be back with her and she won't communicate with you via AIM/phone, you should maybe send her a letter. Explain exactly how you feel and how it's so hard for you to have this break up with no closure. If you send the letter she may either read it or not read it, but it is a therapeutic way to get out your feelings. Keep in mind you do not want to sound overly desperate or stalkerish incase the letter falls into her mother's hands.
Another option is to simply take the chance and go visit her. Don't plan on spending your time at her house though.
These options can either bring you closure or help you to rekindle your relationship.
Keep in mind that a three year relationship in 1 month so it is normal for you to feel this way now.
If you decide that you need to move on with your life you need to find something to replace the time that you would have normally spent talking to your girlfriend. For instance if you would talk to her online every night at 8pm, and now you're still sitting at the computer hoping she'll show up and unblock you and want to talk to you, that's not how you'll move on. Find something else to do besides getting on the computer and read a book, go out with friends, watch a move. Anything.
If you decide to try and get her back you need to be prepared to let go if it should fail.
