AboutAzure Expertise expertise: over 3000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available uponrequest...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks
Question I've been involved in a very long distance relationship for the past 10 months. I live in the US, he lives on small island thousands of miles away. Despite that fact, we've been in extremely close contact and even managed to spend around two months total with each other.
About a month ago, after much discussion as to where this relationship was headed, he told me he wanted me to move to his area. A week later he broke it off saying he couldn't take the pressure of the fact things may not work if I moved. I was hurt, but understood.
I told him I needed to not speak to him for awhile. We went two days with no contact. After that he began texting me again. The frequency slowly increased. Now, we talk just as much as always.
I want to why? Can he not let go? Does he really just want to be my friend? It seems to me we talk a lot, even for friends...and some of our conversations are inappropriate for 'friendship'.
Should I dare risk another heart break and ask him what's up? How long should I hold on to the idea this could work out?
Sometimes I think he may just be scared. Sometimes I think I may just be a silly girl who is letting her heart and imagination run away with her.
He is the most amazing man I've ever been with. I don't want to be just his friend, but if I must I need a break from him first to cool down my emotions.
Help! What should I do?
Answer a couple of months together and alot of emails isn't sufficient to be considering a life changing move, not to mention his ambivalence; goin back tothis constant communication will only work to continue this dependency, when it is your freedom from this that is necessary; his motivations aren't the important part here--what IS, is your understanding that this is most probably goin nowhere, and that you need to cease this addictive communication, refocus on your CURRENT life, including meeting/dating those nearby you can see, touch, observe, do things with in the REAL world...well said...and quite objective..many i've known could never look at situations so clearly...
