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Question I am new to this, but figured it was worth a shot, having read some helpful answers in the past. I was put in touch with a girl through a mutual friend who lives in a different city a few months ago. The interactions were phenomenal, I really felt like we clicked, we seem to have a lot in common. She was very flirtatious, fun, and was always saying things about what a great guy I am, how I am a great catch, how she would think about me all the time etc etc. I went to see her a couple weeks ago, stayed with a friend I knew in the city to keep the pressure off, and I felt like we were just as great in person. We had a good time hanging out, and she is talking about coming to see me now, but no plans set in stone. We were physically affectionate, and seemed to be very comfortable around each other. I left really believing she was someone I could see myself falling for as time went on, just that good feeling.
Well, that’s the background, and my issue is this. Since we met in person, I feel like there has been a big change in terms of the flirtations, and making me feel wanted/appreciated. I have never been a guy who needs to hear these things constantly in relationships, but they were never over distance. I can’t help but notice a difference in our interactions. She still calls and texts just as often, no drop-off there, but now I honestly feel like I am communicating with one of my buddies, not someone who is romantically interested in me. She pretty much never says the things she used to earlier. I have kept saying them at times to make sure she knows I like her, think about her, am interested etc, and when I say these things, the sentiment is returned, but she never initiates these things like she used to. I keep saying these things less and less because I don't like feeling like it is one-sided. I have only brought it up once briefly, not wanting to make a big deal of things early, and she maintained that she is interested, likes me etc. The relationship is still fairly new, and since there is distance between us, I feel like all we have to go on is verbal communication, and the nature of it is really different than it was early on. This is my first time trying to make something work over distance, and its proving harder than I expected. Since I can’t be physically close to her, I notice the lack of verbal affirmation/appreciation much more acutely. She has mentioned being stressed out lately with her job. Could I chalk this all up to that, or is something more going on here?
Answer hard to say--your only choices are to accept what's offered, though not to your level of satisfaction, or discuss your feelings with her; you didn't say how often you'd be seeing each other, but if it's less than once a month, don't expect alot here; given the options, i'd lower expectations as to the verbal--though broaching the issue may garner positive results, what are they worth if they had to be artificially induced?
