AboutAzure Expertise expertise: over 3000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available uponrequest...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks
Question My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months (He’s 20, I’m 18). We have really great physical chemistry, but our emotional chemistry leaves something to be desired. That being said, as much as he drives me crazy, I am quite frequently head of heels for him. We’re living about an hour and a half away from each other over the summer break. The long distance thing is a roller coaster, but, right now at least, it’s good. Problem Is, whether it’s good or bad, I feel like I’m thinking about it and him too much. Not being able to see him every day is making me get a little obsessive. I’m used to having him all the time; even when I did it never felt like enough. I’m just worried that, since our relationship is unstable at times, that I’m getting too attached, and setting myself up to get hurt. Do you have any advice on how to keep myself from obsessing quite so much? I feel like he’s always in my head.
Answer addictive, dependent arrangements aren't healthy and have big problems; communicate less, refocus on YOUR life, goals, friends, activities, the PRESENT MOMENT--if a thought of him begins to disrupt that moment, reject it....the cypress and the oak grow not in each other's shadow...rediscover YOUR life...
