About Melissa Burton (a.k.a Bee) Expertise I have been in plenty of long distance relationships before and I know for a fact that they do take lots of hard work and dedication. I can help with making a relationship strong enough to last even through distance, breaking up long distance, not knowing what to do when things get hard, dealing with heart break, starting to like someone else even though you are in a relationship long distance, etc. If you need advice I`m here to help and if you just need someone to talk to then I`ll be glad to listen.
Experience I have been in long distance relationships before and some have worked and some
have not. I know plenty of people who are in the same type of relationships as these.
Question Hi there Melissa,
I'll try to make this as short as I can lol. Well I've been dating a guy in the navy for almost 3 months now, we don't really see eachother often, (he's actually my 1st boyfriend, and I'm 18!) and at first he just seemed like the sweetest guy you know. But lately, he's been joking around so much to me. I've told him to cool. The last time I talked to him, he didn't say much, apparently b/c he's trying to act more serious. His jokes involve: sexual ones, calling me a bitch then right away he says "i'm just kidding" and one about blowing my head off. He knows his jokes are harsh sometimes, but he still does it. I don't want to change him, but I wish he would stop you know? I do get pissed at him. His jokes kind of offend me. And lately, I've had dreams of breaking up with him, and I've felt confused lately, and I don't know if I could ever see myself "falling in love" with him if things continue like this.
Any suggestions on what I might be able to say or do? I've tried but I just don't know anymore lol. Thank you so much~
Answer Hello
Well first of all there are things you can and can't deal with with certain people. Personally I probably couldn't ever date a guy who said things like that. Other girls can relate to that sense of humor but honestly it really is something that either you can deal with or you can't. I understand this is your first boyfriend so you may not realize it now but as you date other people in the future you will realize that there will be certain things you just cannot deal with in a partner.
In terms of joking around... if he can easily stop acting like that with you then I would think it's worth it. If this is really a part of who he is and he naturally talks like that then it may be an issue. For example, I tend to cuss a lot around my friends or boyfriends. It is not a part of my personality, and I can easily control how often I do it. It's not a big deal for me to limit what I say and how I say it to people. So if a guy ever had a problem with it then it would be no problem for me to not say it as much around them. If he cannot control himself EASILY around you. If this is something he actually needs to really train himself not to do, and it's very hard for him then he may not be someone you should date. Again, there's a difference between easily stopping something (which means it's not ingrained in your personality) and actually making a huge effort to stop it.
If he can easily stop this and he understand how it makes you feel uncomfortable then I would give it a chance. If this is an issue you don't think you could deal with with someone, and it's not something he can easily stop, or he cannot relate to your feelings on it then it might be best to just break up with him. Keep in mind that you guys are getting to know each other and that most likely he's joking like that because he's gotten more comfortable around you.... which means that this part of him may really be how he is. Anyway good luck with this and I hope things work out okay with you guys!
