AboutThe Interesting Woman Expertise I can answer all questions pertaining to starting, maintaining, and enhancing a long distance relationship. I specialize in long distance relationships that were started online -- Long distance online dating relationships have unique nuances and issues that make them completely different other relationships.
Experience I have both extensive personal experience and experience as an adviser on www.TheInterestingWoman.com with long distance relationships. As a person with a heavy travel schedule who lived out of a suitcase, by default most of my relationships were of the long distance variety - many of them initiated through online dating sites. I have experience in applying both formal and informal training in social psychology to better navigate this "world" of long distance relationships. After successfully transforming a long distance relationship to a long term relationship I began offering my unique perspective and experience to help others as an adviser involved in long distance relationships.
Question Hello, I am currently in a dilemma. There is this girl I really like, a lot, and she is away going to a college somewhere a few hours out. I do not have a car nor a license so I can not see her whenever I would like too. I have been wanting something to happen between us, like becoming official, but she wanted to wait, I guess, until she came back up to see me. But when she came up I ignored her for the whole three days she was back in town. I do not feel as if she wants to be with me but I also just could not, and still not, deal with not being able to see her so I was trying to get over her. I am so afraid that if she becomes my girlfriend she is going to leave me and find someone else and I can not even imagne how heart broken I will be if that occurs. I got numerous text and phone calls from her and on her last day I decided to tell her what was going on. I told her everything, how I am scared, and she insisted nothing like that is ever going to happen. That I am the only person she wants to be with, she is the only person I want to be with too, but I just can not seem to believe her when she says these things it just all sounds to good to me. I know how I feel about her I would never leave her, never, but I can not see her doing the same or feeling the same way about me. I told her how I did not want to talk anymore that this was the last time we were going to talk and she did not like that idea at all. Later in the phone call when I was ready to end it she said that she loved me. I love her soo much it is crazy I would do anything for this girl. I do not want to be the reason why she is upset I want to be the reason why she smiles. I have always felt this way for a while now but I was never quite so sure how she felt. I feel as if all of this is not fair, I found everything I could ever want or need in someone and now I do not even get to see them. She was my first kiss and I have never had a girlfriend before, she has not been in a relationship either, I want her and only her to be my first. I just do not know if I should give all this a try because it is really what I do not want. I want to be able to see her, hold her, kiss her and just look her in the eyes. I also feel as if she is just going to find someone else sooner or later. I do not know if what I can offer her is what she will want as I get so sad and quiet on the phone because I really want to be with her so bad. We started talking again today and already I feel like this is not worth it. What should I do?
Answer Michael,
What you're conveying right now is that you NEED her. Regardless of how you feel, if you let a woman know you NEED her, she sees you as NEEDY. When a woman sees you as NEEDY she loses interest in you. If you're really interested in having her stay completely into you even while she's away for college you need to make sure you stay attractive and at your best, and you do the right things to keep her interest level in you high. Read these two articles and you'll be fine:
