Long Distance Relationships/Help

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Expert: Northstar - 9/23/2009


Question
Hi,

My boyfriend and i just got back again after we broke up on saturday. For you information, we are on a long-distance relationship. I asked him "why didn't you say i love you to me again" yesterday when he used to say it to me every night before we broke up. The reason he gave me is he don't want to affect my studies, he want me to learn how to concentrate on my studies and learn to be without with for months/days. He didn't even want to declare our relationship in public anymore, he said "just two of us know it is enough, why should we let the whole world know?" but he used to declare, now he don't want.

But most of my friends told me if you got back with the guy, the guy will not cherish you that much as he used to be, he just got back for the sake of i begged him to stay on.

I really want to know what my friends say is true or not? He really don't love me is it, if not why he don't want to say the 3 words 'i love you' and why he don't want to declare our relationship. I'm really afraid he just got back to me just for the sake of i asked him to stay on.

Hope to hear from you soon. Thanks

Livia

Answer
Your guy wants to take things slow, rebuild your relationship and keep everything low key. There's nothing wrong with that. Don't listen to your friends, and start working on your communication skills with your guy. It sounds like the two of you have a lot to work on. Maybe he realizes that the "L" word shouldn't be thrown around so carelessly.

I'm over 20, and I have never used the "L" word with ANY guy I've been with. It's not that I don't care about the men that I've dated, I just know that it shouldn't be used until something really special has taken root.

Stop freaking out, everything is fine.

Good luck

Long Distance Relationships

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Northstar

Expertise

I can answer question about how to stay close to your significant other, despite the distance. I am currently in a long distance relationship, so I've experienced many problems first hand. Whether a person is having a hard time saying good-bye after a visit, dealing with time differences, bothersome siblings, or an overwhelming schedule; I have tips and ideas that will help people work through their problems and keep a level head. I understand that being in a LDR comes with a whole host of unique problems and situations that don't occur in relationships where both parties have easy access to each other. I also understand how easy it is to start playing mind games with yourself, and worrying over the past, present and future. I can answer questions about how to resolve conflict/trust issues, how to stay connected, and keep the spark burning.

Experience

I am in a long distance relationship, so I know first hand how difficult and frustrating this arrangement can be. My advice will be two-fold, on the one hand I will be able to provide my insight, and on the other hand, my significant other will be able to provide his point of as well. This means I will better be able to see ANY situation from both a male and female perspective.

Education/Credentials
I recently graduated from college with a BA in History

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