AboutAzure Expertise expertise: over 3000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available uponrequest...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks
Question Hi, thanks for taking the time to read my message.
I'm a Brazilian, that met a Korean woman in London, during some courses in the city. I'm 23 and she's 26.
Before going to London, I was bitter and never believed in love, but I met her. I felt passion before, but this that we feel for each other goes beyond it. We love each other a lot, and we had the time of our lives in the city, living practically like a married couple.
One day, May 27, we had to be apart and, since we love each other so much, we decided to carry on the relationship and engage a long distance one. We've been together for almost seven months now, and we r doing really well, talking with each other twice a day, sending mails, gifts, sms, etc. I can't complain, we are doing really well and we r going to attend the same course for a MA next year in London, so we'll see each other again.
The problem though... My parents...
They just can't accept the fact that I love a woman so far away, and with a different cultural background. They insist that this is just an affair and that soon we'll break up. To make things worse, they r more than neurotic about everything in life, not just me. I know they r just trying to avoid me suffering, but they over analyze every single thing, and this is affecting me.
I don't love my girlfriend less, but I feel like I'm doing something really wrong, like stealing or killing someone. I wont explain why I feel this way, since it will exceed the char limit, but I must say that I'm the only child, and once again, they r famous for being neurotic.
I know I'm young, but I never mentioned marriage. Me and my gf just want to be together, and we really connect well, in every way. If in the future we do decide to be together, well, time will tell. She loves me a lot too, I know that, she gave proofs of that many times. I just don't know how to cope with this situation. My ldr is going extremely well, but my parents r making my life a living hell, I can barely enjoy my love. It's terrible.
I love this new culture I'm learning, plus I love my teacher ;p but my parents simply freak out with this. The fact is, with every girlfriend I had, they had the same behaviour. But this time, because of the distance, it's ten times worse. My father seems a bit more open minded, but my mother everyday gives tells me she wants me to break up.
I need help...
Thank you!
Answer at 23, you make your own decisions, and ask others who care about you to support them, even if they don't agree, because they care; ask her to do the same--if she can't, make the topic "off limits", and do not engage in responding to such conversation, rather avoid it--otherwise, move out into your own place..
