Long Distance Relationships/Long Distance - Military

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It's been about 10 years since I've seen her or even had a full out conversation with her. We started talking again via Facebook and/or email, then texting eventually and phone calls. I felt we had a strong connection, and I'm a generous and extremely loyal man when it comes to love and relationships, so I bought her a netbook so we could skype... We desire all the same attributes when it comes to relationships, even when it comes to marriage. (We playfully argue whether we're going to have a girl, or boy first.) We came up with nicknames for eachother already, although she comes up with the most interesting names, i must say. We talked for 5 months before I finally made it home to see her.
  I am Military, and I'm stationed overseas for 3 years, and I have about 1.5 years left here. I went home for my brothers wedding, and her and I spent as much time together as we could, as she was still working most of the time I was home. When we were together, we were amazingly perfect. We were so silly together, and just loved eachother's company the entire time... She didn't want to become and 'official' couple yet because she wanted to see how things went after i returned overseas to my duty station. it's now been almost 3 months, and still we are not 'offical'... I'm not a typical man when it comes to relationships. I'm very loyal and I will make sure I show you my feelings without hesitation, and you will know what i'm feeling, and thinking. I tell her what I'm doing, and who i'm doing it with out of respect so she knows i'm loyal and respectful of her. (I also do it because she's had some rough past relationships)...
  As of right now she tells me "Something is missing", however she reassures me that she wants to be with me and spend a lifetime with me. I know I AM missing in person, but my heart is with her... I feel like she doesn't put in as much as I do, and it worries me a little bit. I try not to ask questions too much, and I really try hard to be a positive person with her, as being positive reflects positively on those around you... I'm curious as to what any of you think I could do to help her open up to me again, and not be so hesitant about being an offical couple...? Thanks all.

Answer
don't worry about the "official" thing, it means little..you can ask her as to what she means by "missing", otherwise, i'd reduce expectations to almost zero, as you're not around, and relationships need in person time to really flourish; in other words, you'll be quite fortunate if she stays around;..all you can do is be who you are, and hope that it's enough for her to wait...

Long Distance Relationships

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expertise: over 3000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available uponrequest...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks

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