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Long Distance Relationships/LDR... where is this going?


Hi! I'm in a bizarre situation. I feel like I'm in a relationship, but nothing as actually "happened" yet. We met online via a friend's Facebook page. He lives an hour plane ride (about 8 hour car ride) away. I met him online about 3 1/2 weeks before I was due to go overseas for a month. We chatted on fb and sent each other photos and I talked to our mutual friend about him to make sure he was a real person etc. My friend told me he could say nothing bad about him and he's a really nice guy. My flight to go overseas was out of his city, so when I went up he picked me up from my friend's and took me to the airport and bought me lunch (I tried to pay but he insisted on paying for me). It was difficult while I was away because I every time I was on a train between places I was thinking about him and "why am I here and not there right now?!"... we talked a couple of times while I was away but he's co-owner of a fledgling business and there was a 14 hour time difference - a bit tricky to coordinate! When I got back, he made time in his busy day to pick me up from the airport and took me to my friend's work to get the key and then take me back to her house. We hugged when I left the country and hugged when he left me at my friend's house. We started skyping as soon as I got home and some nights talked for 4 or 5 hours. We never run out of things to say, and while drunk he admitted that "I think I need to see you". I then suggested coming up for NYE and he agreed. I will be staying with him for 3 nights (at his house, but my friend lives nearby if anything goes wrong) and I'm really nervous as I know that this trip will be the decider as to whether we start a "proper" relationship or not. We get along great and have a lot in common (music, movies, politics, family values) and often talk for hours. Due to his business taking off really well he will probably have to work while I'm up, but has promised me "7pm - 7am" each night. He keeps saying that he doesn't want to make promises he can't commit to so he's only giving me worst case scenarios. I know he doesn't have commitment issues though (we've talked about all our exs), its just that he has a lot to do with his business right now. I really hope it pans out but I've never had a long term relationship and he has had several, including living with different gfs (he's 6 yrs older than me). Not sure where to start this. I'm willing to move city, but not for a year as I have commitments here for that time. I guess I'm scared that a year will be too long to wait? But it shouldn't be because it has already been 7 months??? I'm confused. Do you have any advice? Sorry for the ramble! :)

not sure what the confusion is; you see him at the end of month and see how it goes; waiting/moving, all that WAY too soon to even think about; after the upcoming visit, the only question is "do i want to see him again"?, assuming he wants to see you; so, for awhile, put the rest out of your mind...

Long Distance Relationships

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expertise: over 3000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


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