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Long Distance Relationships/How to be less emotionally dependent on my boyfriend?


Dear Azure,
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 9 months (both early 20's). Right now he is on holiday overseas with his family for around 7 weeks, and I find myself missing him so insanely that I'm just driving myself crazy, and I would really like some opinions about what I should do to stop this.
Before his holiday, we would talk a couple of times throughout the day, and I never found myself missing him and I guess I've gotten used to it. Its been about 4 weeks through already, and for the first few weeks, he used to put in more effort into communicating with me (texting sweet things a couple of times in the day, and calling about twice a week), but recently it feels like he doesn't put in any effort anymore. He would go for a day without contact, unless I text him first, and now he hardly calls and just tells me "It's so late! you should sleep, goodnight." The sweet messages are gone too. I feel so upset about this but I don't know how to communicate it to him without seeming like an annoying and "clingy" girlfriend.
I should point out that I do keep myself quite busy throughout the day; I go out with friends, go to work, exercise, driving lessons, many things. But at the end of the day, when I'm alone, I start to think about this distance and it makes me wonder if we can go on, and I feel so upset and anxious at night time.
On the other hand, he told me he bought me many souvenirs and cute 'couple' things overseas, and can't wait to give them to me when he comes back, and things like that. So aside from the increasing distance and seemingly 'coldness', he doesn't seem to want to break it off, but I am not sure.

What should I do to stop missing him like this? It hurts me so badly and I would really appreciate some advice. Thank you!

stop initiating contact...don't respond quickly if he contacts this point, he's WAY TOO SURE of you, and gotten complacent; make him wonder what you're doin, rather than being so obviously needy; people sometimes don't appreciate what they have until they are made aware that they can easily lose it; so, make some adjustments, show some independence, start treating him as he treats you, and my guess is he'll wake up...

Long Distance Relationships

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expertise: over 3000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


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