Long Distance Relationships/Complex situation


Hello. I have a complex situation & need advice.  I started seeing my dads best friends son. I am 29 live in NY he is 27 lives in Texas.. We have known each other since we have been 5 and never thought about getting together. Our families went to Mexico for a week in December, where him and I got to know each other more and 5 days into the trip we kissed and had sex. There was an instant connection which we both felt. We decided to keep talking after going back to our own states after Mexico. Visited him in Feb and he asked me to be his gf. Things were great, he said a lot of things to me promising to make me happy and lock me in & how we can make a beautiful future together if we both try. He came to visit me in march and he told my best friend in a convo without me present where she told him I've been through a lot of pain in the past and if he isn't true to walk away now. He told her he never knew girls like me existed and that I'm worth the wait. I went down again just this past May and he told me he loved me and then told me he was confused about his ex that just recently came back into his life who lives in Washington DC. He told me that she is his first love and she came back into his life abruptly. This girl saw him and I happy with our posts & pics on Facebook & that's when she started pulling him back. Him and I are no longer exclusive bcuz he needs to figure out how he feels. He told me that he knows I can make him happy and that I have treated him better than any of his gfs.  His sister told me his ex is very controlling and manipulative and is always trying to change who he is. I dont think he needs to change. I let him be himself and what we had was 100% real and pure and he knows that. 9 days after I left Texas to come back home he went to visit her in DC which he is there now until Sunday. The day before he left he told me he cares a lot for me and he doesn't want me to think he is stringing me along but he can't help he thinks about me all the time. He left Thursday and I'm not texting him bcuz when I was in Texas the ex kept texting him and I didn't appreciate it so I like to treat ppl how they want to be treated. I'm completely heart broken and I am hurting pretty bad. I feel we have a strong soul connection that I just can't put my finger on. I was in a relationship for 7 years prior and stayed single and dated around for about a year and d a half before I actually felt a connection with him that I just didn't feel with anyone else. The way he looks at me and makes me feel is amazing. And now it's all up in the air. I know I can't compete with history between exs. They dated for 4 years and we have only been together for 5 months. It just really bothers me that we were so happy & the ex saw us happy and since she's controlling started manipulating his mind to think she is better for him. I know he's confused but I feel I'm just in a huge ocean with no life raft. I don't know why it's so difficult to just say goodbye and why the pain of losing him is comparable to losing my relationship of 7 years. It just doesn't make sense. I guess I really felt deep down he was the one and now I'm all alone. Do u think he is stringing me along? I feel he does love me and his feelings are pure for us both. I just dunno how to approach any of this. I think the rejection maybe is what is making things worse for me since my ex always cheated on me and left me so many times. When he finally moved to a different state it was easier to cope and I was finally happy realizing what I deserve. I'm sure when he gets back from DC he will text me but I'm pretty sure he will figure out he wants to be with her instead of me just bcuz she knows how to say the right things to him and since she broke his heart, it's usually the heartbreaker who has the control. I did tell him I just want him happy and whatever he decides the. I can't be upset with him for following his heart. But it hurts a lot and for some reason even tho we haven't been together long I feel this connection and pull we have for each other. I believe in soul connections, I just don't know what to do....

first, stop blaming this other girl...she was only able to get back into his life because he WANTED her to; next, you're giving this guy every pass imaginable for inconsiderate, unloving behavior...he's not confused at all, he's just taking advantage of your feelings by putting you on the shelf while he checks out someone else; where is your self-esteem?most females don't go wait in the corner while the guy that is allegedly totally into THEM gets to sample others and decide whether to keep you or dump you, til the next one comes along; so, you can let him jerk you around, or not respond for a few days when he does get around to contacting you--then, you tell him what a jerk he was to do that, that you're dating others, and that he will have to EARN your trust back in order for you to consider seeing him, or, even better, dump him and save yourself future heartache...your emotions have brought you to this needy position, not a good place to be...

Long Distance Relationships

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