Long Distance Relationships/Long Distance Relationship
Hi. My name is Milly and I've been in a long distance relationship since July 2013. During the first few months everything was going great and the only thing that would make me happier was to have him close. We talked often and he was very attentive and I felt loved and cared for. He got a a new job and during the first few weeks/month things were relatively normal. He had irregular hours so we had to make some adjustments but we still kept in touch. But for the last month or so I feel things have gone downhill. He doesn't call as often and doesn't answer most of my texts. At first he always called me when he got off from work, but for the past month he hasn't been calling, and when I try to call him there's no answer. And when I do reach him he's always busy doing something with friends from work. He doesn't make time for me anymore. About three months after we met I went to visit him. I should clarify that he lives in the United States and I live in an island in the Caribbean. So that visit went wonderfully and I was in heaven. After I came back, things were still okay. Some time after that I asked him to come visit so he could be in this getaway I had planned with some friends. He said he would come and sounded very excited. So about three weeks before the day, I asked him if he was really coming. He said he had to ask his boss if he could have those days off. A few days after he asked me if there were spots still available because he'd like to bring a friend (girl). I couldn't believe he was asking that. I felt insulted that the time that was supposed to be ours after so much time of not seeing each other was going to be shared with someone else. He got mad because I freaked out without giving him a chance to explain the situation. He said that he wasn't planning on her spending all the time with us, that he just wanted to show her a couple spots. I thought that was BS, because why would you invite someone on a trip and leave them stranded on a hotel or something for most part of the trip? So it happens that he ended up not coming at all because supposedly his boss didn't give him the days. I tried talking to him about making other plans to see each other but he wouldn't have it. His reason was that a lot of things were going on in his job and he couldn't leave right now. So I dropped the issue. The thing is that I don't feel like there's room in his life for me anymore. Like I said, he doesn't call any more, doesn't text, doesn't answer my emails. I tried arranging a Skype date a few days ago and he left me hanging after he said he'd put aside the time for it. The reason this time was that a friend needed him to take her son to the hospital, his battery died and had no car charger. I'll be graduating soon and already have a job in South Carolina which is considerably closer to Virginia than where I am now. He constantly says how happy he is in Virginia now that he's close to his parents, has a good job and friends. To me this is a hint he's giving me that's he's not willing to move for me. I wouldn't have any problem moving to Virginia for him but I would need at least three years which is what my contract is for. I've asked him multiple times if he wants to cut off the relationship, since he doesn't really have time for me. He says no, that he wants to make it work and that he's always had problems with his priorities and the fact that I'm so far away doesn't help him. He says that he needs my help in making it work, that he needs me to be understanding and patient. But I don't see any effort on his part. His friends always come first. I love this person and would do anything I can to keep him. Most of the time I'm sure that he best thing to do is to just cut it off but I feel that maybe there's some hope since he doesn't want to break up. Why would he say he doesn't want to break up but then not make any effort? What's my best bet here?
what else will it take for you to realize that this has been over for awhile?...distance like that almost never works; he keeps you hanging because he either doesn't want to have to tell you the truth, or he likes keeping you as a backup while he meets/dates others; you don't need the words---all his actions or non-actions have told you loude and clear---stop wasting precious time hanging on to a dream...