Long Distance Relationships/what to do now...


Hi Azure

Now this might seem a little long winded, but I want to give you the full picture of what has been happening!

In 2011 I went on vacation with some girlfriends to Jamaica. One of my best friends was dating (now married) to a guy out there. When hanging out one day, my best friends husband brought one of his guy friends (lets call him Mr X) down just to chill! I never intended on having a romance (we have all heard the stories of girls falling for guys on vacation!) but we just really hit it off! Spent the rest of the vacation with each other and just enjoying each others company.

When I left, we promised to continue speaking and that I would come out again blah blah.. So for about 6 months we would speak almost everyday, FaceTime etc. But slowly, due to work commitments, different time zones, we drifted apart - to be expected I suppose!

I went back to Jamaica in summer 2013 and naturally I met up with this guy again. Now....I don't tend to make the same mistake twice! We spoke about our reasons for not communicating and he vowed to change this time - he 'promised' to make more of an effort, he wanted a future with me, wanted us to be together etc. Due to my best friend being married and her husband and Mr X being cousins - we all kind of became a group! So we would double date, I met up with their family and friends out there. It was just really nice! Now, I didn't put my heart into it straight away because history has a way of repeating itself. So when I came back home, I wasn't that bothered! But he made so much of an effort - he would call everyday, message everyday, come home from work and Skype until he fell asleep..everything! I still had my guard up but I was warming to him.

I made plans to go back May 2014 - I'm working in Jamaica for 3 months and intended on staying with him and working on our future together.

Everything was good for a few months when he became extremely difficult to get hold of. We would go weeks without speaking to each other. He told me he had lost his job, lost his house, had no where to live....Maybe he was telling the truth but it sounded a little odd that all of these things would happen all of a sudden! I found out I was pregnant and when I told him, his response was "Are you sure it's mine"!! Cheek! Anyway...he continued to be ridiculously hard to get hold of, didn't hear from him throughout Christmas and New years (even though he would often post pictures etc on social network sites - couldn't have been that downtrodden!).

Unfortunately, I had a miscarriage early January. I managed to get hold of him the day after I got out of the hospital. He seemed vaguely interested in my wellbeing and said that he would make more of an effort. However...he kinda of slipped in that he was living with his ex now - he was homeless remember? - and she was 'Kind enough' to allow him to sleep in a 'different bedroom' until he sorted himself out. I'm not stupid - I knew it was more than that but I suppose being a woman, you hope for the best.

Long story short, I haven't heard from him since! This "ex" of his has tried adding me on social networking sites and he continues to ignore me. I've seen pictures of them together and I've gathered that they are something! My friend's husband denies all knowledge of it all but he is probably trying to stay out of it.

I'm not just worried. I'm going to be in Jamaica for 3 months, more or less by myself! He is clearly back with this ex. I'm friends with a couple of his friends and have told me that everything will be ok when I get out there and to not worry about it. They will come and check in on me and everything will be fine!

I'm just a little lost. I didn't think he would be the type of guy to treat me so badly! I've never been treated like that in my LIFE - i'm 25 now so I know I'm not that old but still! And I'm worried about being out there on my own now, having to see him and this woman while I'm out there. What I thought my time out there would be like is no longer the case so I'm a bit lost..and scared!

the guy is a jerk and did you a favor by letting you see that sooner rather than later; still, in these types of arrangements where hopes and dreams are built on the flimsy foundation of a few days together, then just smooth talk, you should never expect very much; usually, someone, in this case he, gets engulfed in his present life and those nearby, makes decisions based on those things and not someone miles away; so unfortunately, most times these long distance things end in this or similar manner; as for goin back there, you need to be sure you still want to go while assuming he's not part of the picture; (i'd really think twice as to going) but if you do go, stay away from him at all cost because he still may try to get with you....

Long Distance Relationships

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