Long Distance Relationships/My long distance love

Advertisement


Question
In October I met a man while playing a "random opponent" on a dice game online. We began talking and he told me right off the bat that he had been in a 25 year relationship but was extremely unhappy. He said he planned to leave her in 2015 once some expected money came to him so that he could give her the money (she's never had to work thanks to him) so he wouldn't leave her high and dry. Well things have very seriously progressed between us...we talk every single day by phone and by text and the texting goes on all day long. We are crazy about each other but he's on the West Coast, I'm in the Midwest. I plan to fly to his city in about a month, and he will come spend time in my hotel as he can. Did I mention we have extremely passionate phone and text sex and are very anxious to be together? We talk about the future, our future and we both express the desire to have a life together. We both have adult children and as much as we want to be together, neither of us can bear the thought of moving away from our children. Everyone I know tells me that this will never work, and that he will never leave his partner. But they don't hear us talk and they don't hear how crazy he is about me. Am I being naive? Does this relationship have a chance?

Answer
listen to your friends--this is an addictive sexually based fantasy that takes place in your mind, not in the real world; healthy relationships need in person interaction to grow, not phone sex, which is like giving opium to a drug addict; if that isn't bad enough, you bring into it a "partner", or someone who's no doubt being deceived on an ongoing basis, and that he'll probably never leave

this emotional dependency will one day vanish, and you will be totally disillusioned; my advice would be to wake up, confine your male relationships to those NEARBY you can see, touch, observe in different situations, DO things with;  

Long Distance Relationships

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Azure

Expertise

expertise: over 3000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available uponrequest...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks

Experience

see above

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.