Long Distance Relationships/Long Distance


Hi my name is Aidan and I need some advice for my long distance relationship. So me and my girlfriend were together most of last year, mainly during the summer. We decided to break up because we were going to different colleges. Once the flow started going I was constantly thinking about her every day, and regretted not trying to continue the relationship because I knew it could have worked out. So over Christmas break I told her how I felt about the situation and we decided to talk. I told her that I really wanted to get back together with her because I still liked her and she liked me, and that I would much rather do it now that later when we don't have that likeability for each other. Her only reasons as to why she thought it was a bad idea was that she kept on thinking about the future and what that holds as well as breaking up again if we do because the first time she took it really hard. I don't know what I should do because as much as I want to give up on it, something is telling me to keep pursuing it. I don't know what to tell her to try and sway her back to trying and being together again.

best not to "sway" her thinking; she has been better able to get into her present life than you have; long distance thru 4 years of college is almost impossible; "convincing" her of how to feel never works; she would need to come to the conclusion of becoming a couple on her own; the best thing for you to do is stay in contact, but get more involved in the college life, and those you meet there; hopefully you can get to where SHE is, then it will be an equality of feelings; ironically this approach may be your best chance of one day winding up with her, as she may realize that after being with others, she misses and wants YOU, but even if that doesn't happen, you will at least have lowered your expectations and saved yourself from emotional disaster...the cypress and the oak grow not in each other's shadow...

Long Distance Relationships

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expertise: over 3000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available uponrequest...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


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