About Courtney Floyd Expertise Every girl at some point in her life has the desire to "Lose her virginity". My wish is that I can answer any questions they might have about the experience. I can answer any question I am given, but how much advice I can put into that question will depend on the question itself.
Experience I am a woman who went through a very unique "loss of virginity" and I have advised three of my younger siblings on their virginity loss and what to expect, what is okay, and what they probably should avoid.
Education/Credentials I am a high school graduate. I also have some college credits and too much free time.
Question okay so im 20 years old and me and my bf really love each other and decided
to take our relationship to the next level and make love. see the issue though
is that we have allready tried a couple times with no success. you see i was a
virgin and he was well expirenced in sex.... only i was his first virgin. on a
side note however he is really well endowed and im sure thats partly whats
going on. but the first time we tried we used condoms and lube and he did
put a finger inside of me to try and loosing me up a tad. when he tried penetrating me he got the head all the way in with much pain and discomfort
for me and i did feel the famous stretching and tearing feeling that i have
heard so many women talk about once losing their virginity but i couldn't take
the pain and he couldn't keep it up out of fear of hurting me so we stopped
for a few days to allow me to heal or at least not be so sore but when he
pulled out there was this black piece of tissue that came out and idk if that
was my hymen or what was left of my period since it just ended at the time.
and when we tried the last time he could barely get in and it hurt worse for
me and he described me as being even more tight then before and we were
still using condoms and lube! and also since the first attempt at sex i can't
get off during foreplay like i could when i was still a textbook virgin i really
do want to make love with him but idk if thats even possible!!! we need
help1!!!
Answer Alrighty here we go!
First, the black tissue was more likely to be period blood left over than a peice of your hymen because generally the hymen tears but doesn't fall out. And I can imagine how frustrating this is for you guys. I can relate to your issue though. You see when I first began having sex I felt like I was losing my virginity the first 5 or 6 times I had sex. Some women are simply tighter inside than others. Also if you aren't accoustom to intercourse regularly it is possible to get tight again, though never as tight as losing your virginity. Are you nervous or tense due to the pain? Relaxation is a very major key to losing ones virginity. If your tense, even though you don't feel it, your insides will be tense too. As for his well endoument, if your comfortable with it I would recommend starting off the fourplay with a toy. Something small and simple to losen you up. Use it as you would him and then give it another try. Also make sure you're very well lubricated from your own fluids before using lubrication. It is possible don't worry. If you love each other and your patient it will happen eventually. Just try your best to relax and do as I suggested. If it's still a problem after a few more trys then perhaps you should see a OBGYN regarding the pain. Discomfort is to be expected, aswell as sorness for a few times after that.
