Expert: Courtney Floyd - 3/28/2009

Question
Hi I am 19 and I am still a virgin. Well, my best friend is also a virgin and we have known each other since elementary school. Well, we have decided to have sex with each other, but I am really nervous about it. What should we expect during our first time? Also, what do we do to get started?

Thank you.

Answer
Most importantly you need to first be 100% sure that this is what you both want. There's no rush. Society makes sex to be this huge, amazing, phenominal thing, and don't get me wrong, it can be a wonderful experience, but with the right person. Virginity is something that you can't take back once you lose it. It's not just the hymen tearing that you lose, but the special feeling of experiencing that kind of closness with someone for the first time. Now with that being said I will tell you what you might expect. The most common thing is that you might bleed. It could be a single spot or alot. This is completely normal and you shouldn't be worried. Also it is very likely that it will be uncomfortable. It varies from person to person but generally the pain subsides once the man is easily thrusting in and out. The pain felt in the beginning is due to the tearing of your hymen, but if he is slow and gentle with you, it is very likely you won't feel any pain at all. Also it can be very awkward. The reason for this is because of our self counciousness with our bodies. The more open minded and okay you are with the situation the more you will enjoy it. The world will not change. No bells, No fireworks, No white knight on a stallion. You wake up the following morning needing to do the exact same things you were doing the day before. Lastly, you can get pregnant even with protection since there's no protection that can guarantee not getting pregnant 100%. So make sure you are protected. As for what to do to get started all I will say is this, take your time. The more relaxed you both are the more positive your experience will be and the less awkward. Don't be nervous. Most people build sex up to be a lot more than it is though, so don't be too worried if you feel a little let down afterwards. It's not that either of you did anything wrong. Sex is simply not a hollywood fantasy. And finally, have fun and be safe!