Losing Your Virginity/middle aged virgin


QUESTION: "HI i am with this guy that is 40 and still a virgin he stayed at home and took care of his mother till her death and was prob very sheltered. he loves me so much and just wants to give me the world and love me and take care of my kids but i just dont understand why he wont have sex with me. we cuddle and get very intamite but the all of a sudden he will just start to back off the cuddling and not let it lead to sex even if hes the one who starts the cuddling and last night he did it twice through out the night and on the second time he fingered me but still didnt have sex with me i try to like pull him on top me and stuff to let him know i want to but nothing works and i dont know what to say to him or why he wont please give me some answers on what to do or say"

ANSWER: Maybe he is opposed to premarital sex.  That would explain why he gets to the edge of intercourse and then stops.  You should discuss it with him.  Find out what his views on sex are and what he is willing to do.  Let him know what you're willing to do.

Perhaps he is not getting erect sufficiently to have intercourse.  In that case, getting an erection pill from his doctor would be a good thing.  Maybe he would only need it for a brief time before he would be OK having intercourse on his own.

Letting him know you're comfortable with sex would be good.

Feel free to ask me more questions!

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QUESTION: do you think we could possiably be doing to much with the cuddling part and hes cumming then and thas why he kinda rolls over so i cant rub his peinis any more so that way i wont no he came????

I doubt it, but that's something you could talk about.  If he's reaching orgasm too quickly, that wouldn't explain why he doesn't want intercourse at all.  I really think it's important that you talk to him instead of making guesses as to what his situation is.

Losing Your Virginity

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I am happy to answer any questions on this topic. I am experienced answering questions in all areas of sexuality.


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