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Losing Your Virginity/Issues and inhibitions about losing virginity


Im 24 and i've tried to have sex for two times now failing miserably both times.
The problem that i acknowledge is, that i had pretty bad relationship experiences in the past and therefore this thing im into these days is a no strings attached.

Problem is, i internally still believe that only loving the other person can make you really have sex with the said person or you can not really enjoy it. Also, i have a HUGE self esteem problem where if i know the guy isnt genuinely interested in me i can't be REALLY turned on.

Now this guy, he is perfect for a fling. He is a jock, too handsome, perfectly toned body, comes whenever i call him BUT he is not assertive, not aggressive, depends on me to initiate.

Whenever we try to have sex, im too dry. its not like i never get them juices flowing, but only when im fantasising.

Is this his dis interest? How do i MAKE him do something that turns me on, look, i switched partners too, went for another guy who was kindof a good looking musician dude, same problem. too dry.

How do i over come this whatever thing is blocking me from losing my virginity (ALSO, TOO MUCH PAIN whenever he tries to penetrate)

This is ruining my life, any advice/help would be good.

Take your time.  You don't have to lose your virginity in a 5-minute intercourse session.  When you're with the guy you like, take time to get both of you aroused.  Most people engage in foreplay for anywhere from 20 minutes to two hours before they begin penetration.  Keep up the foreplay for as long as it takes him to get rock hard and you to get very wet.  Then is the time to initiate intercourse.

A sexually inexperienced male often needs the female to take the lead.  Once you've gotten him past that point, he will be much more eager.  

Relax and enjoy what you're doing.  The foreplay should be and is enjoyable all by itself.  

Losing Your Virginity

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


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