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Losing Your Virginity/where does fear of sex come from?


I am a 22-year-old female, still a virgin and never had a boyfriend. I don't have a problem with sexual behavior in general (kissing, fondling, etc) but for some reason, I am extremely terrified of sex. I can't figure out why. The thought of a penis going into me is so unbelievably frightening and repulsive!

I watched Lars von Trier's "Nymphomaniac Volume 1" a few nights ago.......... a film which is filled with unsimulated sex. After witnessing the first blowjob scene, I was so revolted I literally threw up all over the living room rug. Throughout the rest, I had to close my eyes during the various cunnilingus, penetration shots, etc. It was just the grossest thing I ever saw in my whole life.

The thought of ever having to do anything like that just makes me so scared and feel like crying. Why do I have this issue? Is something wrong with me?

Oh and by the way, I wasn't raped as a child or anything. I checked and my vagina is 100% intact!

Intercourse can bring both you and your partner great pleasure and is how new life is started.  You should try it and like it!  

I'm very surprised that you're watching porn if you are repulsed by sex.  Why did you continue to watch?  Most people don't watch movies like that.  And you don't ever have to do anything just because it's shown in porn.  Once you have a partner that you know and love, you'll want to have intercourse and perhaps do other sexual things.

If you don't already, learning to masturbate can help build your appetite for more genital activity.

Losing Your Virginity

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


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