Lupus/neuropsychiatric symptons of lupus and divorce
Truth conquers all wrote at 2014-02-09 23:22:04
I would like to say how wonderful your response is Cynthia. I went through a marriage doing everything a good wife and mother should do and then some. Put my ex through law school, did everything to make him happy. As I started not feeling myself he became nasty and abusive... After staying in it for 16 years, 6 miserable, last 3 being in a suicidal state because of the lack of compassion and his telling me I'm crazy and bi polar. After a back surgery procedure... Thanks to him... I had a panic attck, as he walked past me he called me pitiful. I continues to stay to raise my children as he ( the good lawyer) lived lic and brought me home an std on top of everything else. Having no idea I had a true illness, I thought I was going crazy. He had me committed after a psychotic emotional breakdown (gee I wonder why)... He told me he did it to help me ... The. When I finally left he reminded me of being committed and how he had me where he wanted me. After losing all my self worth, my home and barley making ends meet to raise my children ( who are deathly afraid of him) I had been struggling w depression, panic attacks, anxiety,... Them come to think of it at those times... Scaly palms, ulcer in same spot always on nose, blood in urine, joints unbearably painful, hair coming out in chunks, sensitive teeth, swollen face and numbness/dizziness... Always during those ' I polar ' lows??? How after all these years, wasted time, strong unnecessary medications , have doctors not been able to figure this out?! I'm so angry and disgusted. I was convinced I was insane and having to be in court w him (representing himself... Telling lies to the judge he is friends with) made me so sick and almost demonstrated what he has others believing to be true... That I'm nuts. I am sick... And dealing w his nasty behavior and manipulation just exacerbates my symptoms... I am satisfied within that there is a reason for my madness other then having been married to a psychopath.
In short, being a good, compassionate, understanding spouse should not be a question. In sickness and in health.... Whether mental or physical.... Unfortunately autoimmune is a combination of both... Clearly manifested my physical.
Love your spouse no matter what... I remembering when I first got married talking about 'if' something was to happen leaving him incapacitated I would stand by him and I assure you I would. Now I look at this monster and think... Omg... I've been sick n u just helped make it worse... My daughter also has lupus and for the love of god, he will never go near her again! She was 7 when she had a stroke and when she was slow to get chores done she was threatened by him. No one believes us... And at this point we don't care, but I will believe and support my fellow suffers of the lack of understanding and compassion by those non suffers.
Keep strong and love what's left to enjoy. If u read this than u are still a survivor! Keep it that way!!!!