AboutMartin W. Eldred Expertise I have been a Lutheran Christian for 47 years and a Lutheran pastor for almost 19. I can answer most general questions about Luther, Lutheran History, Lutheran Theology, and a Lutheran approach to Biblical Interpretation. I am ELCA, for those who know what that means, and I tend to be moderate theologically. I hope that I can converse with those that are either more conservative or liberal than I, and especially with those who are really just seeking.
Experience Pastors are "generalists" and generally have a working knowledge on many subjects. We are also used to working with a variety of answers from a variety of people. I teach a great deal, especially in the area ofthe New Testament. I particulalry enjoy the Pauline literature.
Organizations I have been a member of the Society of Biblical Literature, an international gathering of biblical scholars and teachers, since the late 1980s.
Publications I have written a few book reviews for the journal, "Lutheran Quarterly."
Education/Credentials I have a B.A. from Pacific Lutheran University in Religion (Biblical Studies)and a Master of Divinity from Wartburg Theological Seminary.
Question I'm going to try to keep this short but it may be difficult. I would like to be married in a Lutheran Church in my area, but am unsure if I would be allowed or what the requirements are. I have made all of my sacraments in a Catholic church as a child as has my fiance, however I do not practice Catholicism because I do not agree with their strict guidelines, I prefer the Lutheran church all together and their more calm and forgiving approach. My fiance has not continued as a Catholic because of loyalty to his Protestant grandmother but never became a member at a church. My parents were married in the local Lutheran church and I went to a summer school program there as a child. My father passed away when I was young and I would like to find a way to make him feel close to me on that day, and I think that this is the perfect place for him to be there. What are the requirements established by the Lutheran Church to be married in their church? I have attended a few services over the years but have never become a member. Do Lutherans require a pre-cana type class? Do they typically allow rouge Catholics to become members?
Answer Ashley:
Thank you for your question.
Generally, the requirements for marriage in a Lutheran church are set up by individual congregations, but also generally, those requirements are pretty simple.
When a couple come to me seeking to get married, it is not necessary that they are Lutheran. I ususally am more interested that they have a loving and caring relationship, that they are willing to meet with me three or more times before the wedding, and are open to discussion during those times concerning any issues that I may see in their relationship. During this pre-marital counseling, we cover things such as communication; the roles of the man and the women in their relationship (Are they equal partners, with one person not overly dominate? Are there power issues that are still not resolved? Are there any hints of violence? etc); and the role of faith in their relationship. We also talk about money, children, sex, and other key issues that I have seen divide couples.
If I feel that the couple are reasonably working together to make their relationship work, and that they are being reasonably open and honest (I say, "reasonably" since one can never be 100% certain), then I feel that they are ready to be married.
Issues such as divorce are discussed, when they are needed. In those cases, I mainly want to ear what the previously divorced party(ies) have learned from their previous experience, and if that previous break-up will negatively impact their new marriage.
We also discuss the church and worship. I remind them the the wedding service in a church is first a worship service and we go over what it means to have God as a partner in your marriage, but I never require them to become members, if they are not already.
I think that you will find that this is a pretty typical pattern for weddings in Lutheran churches, although some local congregations do things a bit different. I do know pastors, because of the many, many weddings that they do, that don't like to do non-member weddings. I know some congregations that ask you to attend one at least four worship services before they will agree to schedule your wedding. These, as I have said, are usually localized requirements.
I hope that this is helpful and God bless you in your wedding plans.
