Expert: Martin W. Eldred - 4/6/2009

Question
Rev. Eldred, Thank you for taking the time to answer my question. I am a non-practicing Lutheran who's long had my own issues with religion (not with god) and I'm getting married to a RC woman next year. She's technically non practicing as well but we both have religious families so there was never any question about getting married in a church. We decided to get married in a Catholic church and since she's Filipino (I'm Irish-German) I decided to do many things that are traditional in a Filipino wedding. My question is, since I want to help make things more familiar both to myself and my family while still showing my respect for the faith and practices of my in-laws (and I can't quite remember everything that goes into a Lutheran wedding) are there any "Lutheran" practices that can easily be woven into a traditional Catholic/Filipino wedding? I've tried researching the topics but I've found as many questions as answers. There will be no mass for our wedding since the priest agrees that it would "leave out" the non Catholics present and my fiancee agrees that it would be great to add something of my own heritage and background since I've been so accommodating and enthusiastic about showing my understanding of her side of the family. Thank you again and I apologize for such a rambling question.

Eric

Answer
Eric:

Thank you for your question and congratulations on your pending wedding.  Sorry that I have been delayed, I have been out sick the past few days.

I think that you will find that there is very little difference between a Roman Catholic and a Lutheran wedding service.  The flow of both services is similar: an opening prayer; readings from the Bible; a short homily; statements of intention to the couple; the vows; pronouncement of marriage; and prayers before we leave.

The bigger difference would be that for Roman Catholics, this is a sacrament and that the priest plays a more active role in making you married; where we see the pastor in more of a passive role, and the couple's vows marry them, but this is more a theological difference and would not necessarily change the ceremony.

I would say that as long as the Scripture is read and that the Gospel is proclaimed through the homily, you have all the essential elements to a Lutheran heritage wedding.

I hope this helps and God's Blessings on your future.

Martin Eldred