AboutBrad Varvil Expertise I am happy to field questions regarding Lutheran theology and practice, and it's context
within the western catholic tradition. General questions on the Christian faith are also
welcome.
Experience I have served in lay ministry for over ten years, and am currently a pastor in a small, confessional Lutheran communion in the Evangelical Catholic tradition. I have worked with several Lutheran and non-Lutheran communions over the years, and have a particular fondness for catholic ecumenism.
Education/Credentials I have a BA in Religion and Philosophy from a small midwestern Lutheran college, and am completing an M.Div. at a small, independent, Lutheran seminary in the Pacific Northwest.
Question I am a divorced Catholic. I remarried a divorced Lutheran. I have experienced much conflict and inner turmoil regarding my status and I am truly sorry for the divorce. My husband and I are looking for a church to join.
Nowhere in the bible does it speak of annulment; to me this is something developed by the institution of the Catholic Church to justify allowing the remarriage of divorced individuals, as well as to construct the idea of valid vs invalid marriages. There are many good arguments supporting that according to the bible, each marriage is valid, even if a marriage started out sinfully as a second marriage; there is nothing in the bible that calls a second marriage invalid.
From my readings, it appears that I would be instructed by a Catholic priest that I am living in sin, that I should seek an annulment (which does not seem like an option to me; my first marriage was valid according to the definitions of the Catholic Church) or that I should attempt reconciliation with my first husband. Do two wrongs make a right? Wouldn't divorcing my second husband to remarry my first or even not to remarry, be committing the same sin again? Also, aside from the fact that reconciliation is not possible, the bible says that a woman may not return to her first husband after marrying another. (Deuteronomy 24:1-4)
What is the Lutheran position on this?
Answer Dear Alice, child of God,
The quandary you find yourself in is not unique-- these same questions and pains have been around a long time, but in our modern age, they are almost epidemic. I'll try to offer my best counsel.
First, keep in mind that there's a difference between the Roman canons (the laws of discipline that Rome insists be made binding on all Roman Catholics) and the simple teachings of Scripture. At their best, the Roman canons attempt to interpret and apply Scripture consistently within the believing community... at worst, those canons become quite cumbersome and even ridiculous human contrivances.
For the people I've counseled in similar situations to yours, the Lutheran perspective tends to be bound up in two principles: Law and Gospel, or Faith and Repentance.
The Law of God is fairly clear, and Christ puts a very fine point on it, particularly in regard to marriage. St. Paul reminds us that marriage is a portrait of the divine love of God shown between Christ and His Bride (the Church)-- who despite our infidelity and abusive sin, He never abandons or divorces. So, in the human context, divorce is a terrible sin, and even more so in the Christian context, because it distorts the reflection of divine grace we are called to exemplify through marriage. This is why Christ can say that divorce is never permitted among people except for the cause of infidelity... and even then, He would hope for reconciliation and forgiveness, because God puts up with our infidelity every day of our lives.
In the face of that Law, you must assess your own sin. Here's where you really need to sit with a pastor. Divorce and remarriage is not the divine model, nor the divine plan... but we live in a world of sin and death, constantly tormented by the evil one, and the fact of the matter is that we all fall to sin in one way or another. We are all guilty of breaking God's divine law, and if we were all judged only on our keeping of the law, every one of us would be lost. But thanks be to God that we have grace and forgiveness for our sin! This is the Gospel of Christ-- that He who knew no sin, became sin for us, that we might be reconciled to the Father through Him.
If you truly repent of your sin, hear the words of absolution from your pastor: you are forgiven for Christ's sake. Here's where faith comes in... you have to believe that you are forgiven, not because of what you have done or will do, but simply because of what Christ has already done for you. Those words spoken by your pastor, are spoken as if by Christ Himself, and carry His full weight and authority to forgive. With that forgiveness received, you will be free to live in faith, hope, and love, and make the best of the situation you now find yourself in. Love your husband-- forgive your ex-- be the wife God calls you to be today. And when you stumble, return in true repentance and sorrow for your sin, and be reconciled once again to your Saving Bridegroom, who will never leave nor forsake you.
