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Male Masturbation/Climaxing with a partner and without.


My name is Hannah. I am 23 and I have been masturbating since I was 8. I used a massager the first time, and I have been using massagers/showers/and dildos/vibrators ever since.

I masturbate with my hands as well, but it usually takes a really long time, and seems like a chore.

I have never reached climax with my partners. I can reach climax if I use a toy, but it usually takes about 30-45 minutes, and is a gigantic chore.

I am truly frustrated. I don't know how to fix this. I feel like using my hands more would be key, but I have tried to do that and it didn't seem to get better.

I feel like I am making some progress because sometimes it only takes 15 minutes for me to climax with my partner, and recently I was able to climax with his assistance.

When I am alone I can get off in 2-10 minutes.

I was sexually abused as a child. I don't feel like it affects me anymore, but I am not sure.
My sister was also abused, and is also unable to climax with her partner without toys.


Hi hun- There could be some connection with you not being able to climax with your parter (without toys) and what happened to you when you were younger, but I don't think so. The truth is A LOT of women cannot climax with a partner. It depends on the partner, yes, but also on how we climax ... which for most of us is through our clitoris.

I have to say I am very happy you can orgasm with toys; that is very positive. I would continue to try every third time you masturbate to use your hands, and if it doesn't work in about 12-15 minutes, use your toy. Try that for a few weeks and let me know how it is going. In your next email explain to me what happens when you use your hands, how many times you masturbated in two weeks, and about how long it took you to orgasm. Also include if you had an orgasm with your partner .. and if so, how long it took and what you had to do to achieve it.

Thanks hun, and I think if we work together we can make progress.  

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Angie B


I can answer any questions related to male masturbation. I have had a psychology practice in the state of Florida for the past ten years. I deal with, but not exclusively, females who have or are dealing with many types of sexual changes. There are NO questions that are wrong to ask about masturbation. I take every questions seriously, and will help you in anyway I can. Please feel free to ask anything, and know you will get my best advice and judgment. I have included a photo of myself on my profile. This is so you can see who you are talking to. :)


As previous stated, I have practiced over ten year in helping teen and adults overcome numerous sexual anxiety, questions about masturbation, and sexual desires --- all of which were done on a clinic level.

I have a Maser's Degree in Human Sexuality from the University of Miami. I also have a Master's Degree in Psychology from the Florida State University.

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Because of the sensitivity of the issue, I would never release names of pasts clients.

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