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Male Masturbation/problem with desensitization and erection


hi Dr. Adams, I'm a 25 y/o male who is currently having problems with desensitization and maintaining an erection.  I would say I have been masturbating for about 10 years and when I think about it I would say it's close to 5-6 times a week.  I have become accustomed to a very tight, rapid grip that is impossible to attain during regular sex.  I have trouble maintaining an erection, most likely because I feel desensitized to vaginal and oral contact, plus I'm sure watching pornography when masturbating isn't helping.  Overall I'm self-conscious about these issues and would very much like to have a healthy, confident sex life. Is there anything I can be doing (or not doing) to "recalibrate" my system so to speak? Now that I'm aware of these issues, I have problems with erections when masturbating as well.
By the way I have been seen by the urology department who assure me that physically/hormonally I am fine and normal for my age.
I am open to trying anything, it could only help at this point.
Sincerely, aaron

Be glad you're physically and hormonally fine.  

I recommend a toy called the Super Head Honcho which is available on and for about $15.  It will help you learn to use a lighter grip when masturbating that will leave you in better shape for vaginal intercourse.

Try to be able to masturbate to orgasm about once or twice a month without using any visual aids (pictures or videos).

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I write from the point of view that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary to sexual health. I am able to answer questions in all areas of sexuality.


I am the author of the web site and have been answering questions about sexuality (especially masturbation) from both males and females for over 13 years.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions of the world.

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