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Male Masturbation/fantasies and wavy like feeling


QUESTION: I am 15 and When I started high school in August I met a guy and the very first day I saw him at band camp before the year started I felt automatically really horny and I thought about doing lots of sexual things with him more than I usually think about sex. I also get turned on when I watch him play drums or just see him make eye contact with me, I also get turned on and very horny when I can smell his cologne and it makes my body feel fuzzy and warm.

How do I stop these feelings, or can I even? I don't like him anymore and me and him are still friends but the thought and site of him still turns me on.

ANSWER: You shouldn't try to stop those feelings.  They are normal.  You should enjoy them.  If you're really not interested in the percussionist anymore, then try to have those same feelings about some other guy.  Lots of guys know how to handle drumsticks.  He isn't the only one.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks, for the previous answer,and I know lots of guys know how to handle drumsticks.I do have another question more about a behaviour that he has shown.

When (my fellow drumline member) is stressed, irritated, or upset in any kind of way he tends to veer in a dangerous direction. He automatically turns to finding someone to hook up with at school, which has happened previously a year or two ago which has ruined his High school rep.

Does that mean he has a problem?, what can I do to help him?, what are some things he can do to fight the urge to automatically turn to sex instead of dealing with his problems?.

If you already know he has this problem (using girls for sex, being irresponsible and reckless), then you should stay away from him instead of getting further involved with him.  He is not your problem to fix.  Work harder at keeping problem males out of your life.

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I write from the point of view that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary to sexual health. I am able to answer questions in all areas of sexuality.


I am the author of the web site and have been answering questions about sexuality (especially masturbation) from both males and females for over 13 years.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions of the world.

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