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Male Masturbation/Masturbation and Marriage


I am a 36 year old male.  I have been masturbating regularly since probably age ten.  I have only had two sex partners, one from age 16-17, the other from age 25-32. They were both exclusive relationships. Around the age of 20, the amount of time it took to bring myself to orgasm began to lessen dramatically.  I can often cum in 2 minutes or less, and even more quickly with a partner.  From age 29-32 I was married.  My (now ex-) wife and I had very different sex drives.  At first we had sex probably twice per day, but after a short while this frequency decreased very sharply. Once we were married, my wife and I had sex at most once per week but more often closer to once per month.  We once went 14 months without having sex. (I was masturbating during this time, of course.)  If it were up to me we would have had sex about 4 times per week. Her lack of desire made me feel sexually inadequate even though I am pretty sure she was satisfied. (She would usually have 3-5 orgasms during sex.) I have not had sex in over 4 years although I have continued to masturbate 2-5 times per week.

Between my being very quick to orgasm these days and having been in an obviously dysfunctional sexual relationship, I am concerned about my sexual future. Is there anything I can do in masturbation to increase sexual stamina? Any advice on how I can get past my traumatic relationship?

Your problem is probably premature ejaculation.  Your masturbation frequency is about right for your age.  I'm not sure what you can do until you're in a sexual relationship with a woman, at which point there are exercises and techniques you can do that will help you ejaculate less quickly.

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I write from the point of view that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary to sexual health. I am able to answer questions in all areas of sexuality.


I am the author of the web site and have been answering questions about sexuality (especially masturbation) from both males and females for over 13 years.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions of the world.

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