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Hi Donald,

I was mislead by a real estate agent, I have enough know how to put a case together but just want you to if you could please help me to make the paragraphs sound more punch to the point, a little annoyed but less wordy.  If you could help me with just a re-write of the below I would be grateful:

Some points which need to re-write:

a) Michael Zhou did not advise us, the purchaser/investor of the age of the property, from our point of view he should have (though this is contested by the branch manager Emma Donkin of Mairangi Bay and we do not agree) at the very least advised that properties of type 20A Clarice Place, Takanini, Auckland NZ have potential to be “leaking.”   Considering that the sales agent was in this case both the vendor/owner of the 20A Clarice Place, Takanini, Auckland, NZ he should have really known what state it is in.  We do feel that in our meeting with agency’s branch manager: Emma Donkin found her to disagree with this point, however we the purchaser/investor feel that Michael Zhou has failed to provide what we would expect to be a reasonable duty of care in this matter.

b) Upon finding that the building report was not satisfactory on 01/04/2015 via initially a phone call, we advised the owner/vendor: Michael Zhou and asked the question to his assistant Tina Shi: Whether Michael Zhou would look into fixing the leaky issues with an approximate estimated cost of $30,000 (or more if the linings needed to be removed and the timber is found as suspected to be rotting), the answer was a flat out “No” again proving a rather negligent approach by Michael Zhou. We had enquired about this point to see if the purchase could still go ahead on this condition as from our point of view we acted professionally providing a resolution before matters got further out of hand.

c) Whilst we were able to from the agency seek reimbursements for Drug Tests, Building Report and Legal Fees, and a sum which is not easily quantified for hurt and humiliation for our time and troubles on the 09/04/2015, we did find Emma Donkin, though somewhat apologetic, a bit defensive in protecting the agent Michael Zhou despite knowing how upset we as the customers are with regards to his gross misconduct. We would like for the CAC to evaluate whether the sum compensated was fair in regards to this matter.

Answer
this is the best i can do AJ without more details I hope this helps.

No one was advised of the age of the property.We were also not advised that the properties of type 20A Clarice Place, Takanini, Auckland NZ have potential of having Leaking problems.Considering that the sales agent was in this case both the vendor/owner of the 20A Clarice Place, Takanini, Auckland, NZ he should have had knowledge of what state the property was in. Emma Donkin the agency’s branch manager disagreed with us but and we feel she did not provide be a reasonable duty of care in this matter.

Upon finding that the building report was not satisfactory on 01/04/2015 via a phone call, we advised the owner/vendor: Michael Zhou and asked the question to his assistant Tina Shi: Whether Michael Zhou would look into fixing the leaky issues with an approximate estimated cost of $30,000 (or more if the linings needed to be removed and the timber is found as suspected to be rotting), the answer was a flat out “No” again proving a rather negative approach by Michael Zhou. We had enquired about this point to see if the purchase could still go ahead on this condition as from our point of view we acted professionally providing a resolution before matters got further out of hand.

We were able to from the agency seek reimbursements for Drug Tests, Building Report and Legal Fees, and a sum which is not easily quantified for hurt and humiliation for our time and troubles on the 09/04/2015, we did find Emma Donkin, though somewhat apologetic, a bit defensive in protecting the agent Michael Zhou despite knowing how upset we as the customers are with regards to his gross misconduct. We would like for the CAC to evaluate whether the sum compensated was fair in regards to this matter.

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Donald Marr

Expertise

I can answer any questions concerning small business operations. Employee training, inventory, purchasing, and all aspects of what is needed to have a successful business.

Experience

I have over 35 years as a Business consultant helping various types of businesses.

Organizations
SBA Member

Publications
http://www.examiner.com/marketing-in-chicago/how-small-business-can-compete-with-big-business

Education/Credentials
BS Business

Awards and Honors
I have received many awards from Business affiliations.

Past/Present Clients
First Brand STP Inc.Barnies Coffee Safeway Scafold Brothers Coffee Publix Food Stores Inc. Winn Dixie Food Stores Inc. PepsiCo Inc. KFC Inc.

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