AboutJan Hayner Expertise I can give you tips and hints on how to use your time efficiently, shortcuts to make this possible and the importance that great time management can have on every aspect of your life, home, job and family relationships.
Experience I am a Professional Organizer and one of my specialties is 'time managment'. I am an advocate of the saying "Work Smarter-Not Harder' and I show you ways to accomplish this through smart and efficient time management.
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Education/Credentials School of hard knocks,
6 years of being a Professional Organizer
Expert: Jan Hayner Date: 2/18/2008 Subject: My Mind
Question Basically, I'm fifteen and in high school, and I can't get things done in a normal span of time. It's partially because I'm a slow writer, but it's mainly because of how I think. My mom died when I was in 3rd grade, giving me more responsibilities. So at that point, I had to pull away from my personality at the time (that of a child) and assume a more focused one. But ever since about 3 years ago, when I was more or less over it enough that it didn't bug me all the time, the childish part of me came up again, and has stayed there and is STILL there even as I type this now. You know how when you were a little kid you had this kind of "fog" around your thoughts that made you think in the limited fashion that kids do? Well even now, that fog affects my memory and my attention span, but it gives me clarity of inner thought. (I'll explain)Because of this childish part of me, I get easily distracted when working and I simply can't keep by brain gears clicked together enough to be fully aware of what's going on around me at any point in time, just what I WANT to focus on. Consequentially, I don't gather much from the world. But because I can only really focus on things that I WANT to think about, most of my thinking capacity is use INSIDE my head to analyze things I observed that interest me, like my poor study habits, which is why I am able to voice my position as I am doing now.
So what, if anything, can I do to KEEP this inner focus, but be able to pay more attention to other things as well?
Answer Hi Alex;
I do understand your problem, as best as an 'outsider' :) can! Let me see if I can explain it to you. BUT, keep in mind, that I am not a doctor, you are just getting my opinion, but I have seen this before and talked to people to find out what they did to get over it. The things that their doctors told them to do, may be of benefit to you as well.
Your thoughts basically became inward when you mother died, it was traumatic for you and you stuck basically to yourself and your own feelings and thoughts. She, in a way, was your sounding board, she told you what to do, how to do it and listened to your thoughts; when she was gone, you didn't really trust anyone elses views because they weren't her! Get what I mean?
Now the trauma has subsided to some degree, you trust yourself and your own instincts because somehow, you have proven to yourself that you are reliable in your thinking. However, all of the grieving process isn't over and you now have to reprogram your thinking. Which basically means that you have to work harder at concentration and the fog will go away and everything will become clear to you.
You are working at it, but you are comfortable with the things that you like the best and have a fear of the unknown and new things.
So, how do you go about changing that!
You have already proven that you are capable of doing things beyond your years and accepting responsibility, so you have to program your thinking a little bit.
1. write down what needs to be done. If it is homework, write every subject separately and the work to be finished and each job separately. This helps because there will be more to ross off as you finish it and you will feel better about what you are accomplishing. You will be proud of yourself and there will be a smile coming from the heavens too!
2. Do it in small amounts of time. Basically do your homework, but take 5-10 minute breaks every half an hour, to give your mind a rest.
3. Mark things off of your list as you get them done.
4.Just like when you were a child, you are allowed to play, when the work is completed and your list is crossed off.
5. Everytime you get distracted, look to the sky and say 'ok mom, give me a push'. Your thoughts of your mother and the bond you had can still help to get you through the tough times.
6. When you don't understand something, ask for help. If it is school work-ask a teacher, if it is housework-ask your dad or grandma etc. Don't forget they had to have learned how to do things the same as you and asking for help is your best form of attacking it.
7. Decide that you 'want' to think about school work. Once your brain says that you want to, it wants to know why. You want to because you want to get it over with so you can have fun, you want to so that when you are older you have a good paying job because you will be the best person for the job, you want to because you are proud of what you can accomplish when you set your mind to it and you want to because you are a responsible person.
Try these ideas for a little while Alex and see how it works for you. Say you will try it for two weeks. After all, what is only two weeks out of your life? See how much good it will do for you.
I hope I helped give you some ideas and that they do you some good.
Jan Hayner
