AboutDr Tim Gladu Expertise I will answer questions in regard to pre-marriage counseling. I will also answer questions on how to find that spouse that God has for you. I also want to make it clear I am not a MD.
Experience I have 12 Years in Ministry. I also have been in Youth Ministry for most of those 12 years.
I have also been happily married for 20 years and have raised 3 Children
Bachelors degree in Ministry, a Masters in Pastoral Counseling and a
Doctorate in Theology.
Expert: Dr Tim Gladu Date: 7/14/2008 Subject: Marriage
Question We were high school sweethearts and have been married for 18 years this month. We have 3 great kids. We slowly fell out of love because of my wife's anger over the years. (sounds as if I am blaming)We both have gotten help and tried many things to improve our marriage. I know what God says about walking away from a marriage when there has been NO adultery, but I feel hopeless and want to leave. any suggestions?
Answer Tod Hall,
Just to make you feel better I think we have all felt this way at times. I have always told couples in this situation that marriage is hard. I know that most people would like to think that marriage is like it shows in the movies. You have spent the time and effort in this marriage. I am sure that you must love your wife and your kids. They deserve you and I am sure your wife would be willing to work out any issues you might have. Your wife sounds like she needs some counseling and I hope that she has tried to get some help. You are telling me that you do believe in God so we can talk about that. You need to find a church that you can go to as a family. God has given you the position of spiritual leader of the home and you have a responsibility to train your children in the way they should go. You also are a product of your own thoughts. You have now not only thought it you have said it also. You thought your life was hopeless and now you have put it down on paper and said it. If you are looking for a way out of your problems then you have to see the problem and your own attitude. I have found that when I look at the situation negative then it turns out that way. I know that when I see the positive side and look forward then it turns out that way. We are most of the time responsible for how our life turns out. You will find that when you tell yourself that things will get better and are willing to make them happen then they will. I want you to look at Genesis in the first chapter when God created everything. He said something and it happened. God gives us the same kind of ability He wants us to be able to request our desire of Him and God can deliver it to us. We have to not only tell God what we want but we also have a responsibility to make what we want come true. When you get the right thing on the inside and you say it across your lips, the God in you who spoke everything into existence allows you to share in His creative ability. Tomorrow is either getting better, getting worse, or staying the same. Those are the only three options in life. Start with your pastor and see if he will meet with you and your wife and just see what he can do to help her with her anger. I think you will see that you can control your future by forgetting the past and looking for the future.
