AboutS.Kessler Expertise I can answer most any type of questions relating to marriage. I have been divorced and I`m remarried. I have been through many things throughout the years. I will try to offer solutions to a problem you have whether it be; divorce, adultery, advice on a spouse, etc. I`d be happy to answer, to the best of my ability, any questions you might have.
Experience I have been a volunteer for all experts for over 8 yrs now. I volunteer in more than 2 catagories/topics involving marriage type issues. I have helped a lot of people.
Question My husband and I split 2 years ago this summer. What sparked the problems was I lost my mother and grandmother (my core family) within 3 months of each other and all of a sudden he came to me saying "he felt he needed to be on his own", confessed to cheating over the years etc. He said he felt that way for about a year but ofcourse how and when he sprang it upon me was pretty brutal. We are now living in the same city again and every 3-4 months I hear from him-I think he wants to keep tabs. I guess is it normal that I still think of him now and again and wonder how he is, even after 2 years. I was with him for 10 1/2 years. Part of me feels I should not even be caring about him especially with what he put me through-any advice here?
Answer Hi Sarah~
I think it's normal for you to wonder about him from time to time. After all you did have a fair amount of time and years invested in this marriage. And it was unfortunate that he cheated on you and then sprung all of this suddenly on you in your most desperate time of need. Just know that all of these thoughts and feelings (meaning from going from one extent to the other is indeed normal--i.e. a love/hate relationship with him).
However, when/if he does contact you, you don't have to engage in any kind of conversation with him at all. He's most likely (as you suspected) being nosey and wanting to know what you're doing and how your living life w/o him. If you wish you could change your number so that he has no way to contact you again. Or you can just be cordial with him and keep it short and very brief. He obviously has unfinished feelings/business with you or he wouldn't keep in contact with you like he has been.
I guess my point is you should go with your heart and do what's right for you and what makes you happy. This isn't about him anymore, it's about you being happy and finally moving past all that had happened between both of you.
