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About Samantha
Expertise
I can answer most any type of questions relating to marriage and relationships. I have been divorced and I`m happily remarried. I have been through many things throughout the years. I will try to offer solutions to a problem you have whether it be; divorce, adultery, advice on a spouse, etc. I`d be happy to answer, to the best of my ability, any questions you might have. I promise to be unbiased and non-judgemental. As I like to remain neutral and try to see things from every angle possible and keep an open mind.

Experience
I have been a volunteer for all experts for over 8 yrs now. I volunteer in 2 catagories/topics involving marriage type issues. I have helped a lot of people.

Education/Credentials
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You are here: Experts > Style > Weddings > Marriage > marriage

Marriage - marriage

Expert: Samantha - 10/31/2009

Question
Hi Samantha!
I have a bit of an odd problem and yet I think it is common. I am a muslim girl living in a muslim country. In my country we are not allowed to date, it is looked down upon and you are supposed to wait for a guy to come and propose. I am 21 years old and many of my friends are engaged, married, and even have babies. Some of them are single. However, I am supposedly very pretty and very smart. I just graduated and I am working in a very prestigious job. I never had any luck in that department (relatioships) and it just keeps getting worse. I cannot even be optimistic at times , but nobody ever shows interest in marrying me. I feel left out and everyone around me wonders why nobody proposes. I also do not want to marry any guy, I need a real man with a decent job because I know that is what I deserve and I cant stand boys who are young and stupid. Where do you think the problem is? any tips?

Answer
Hi Loli~

I'm from a completely different culture than where you are. It's hard to not really get to know someone if you can't date them or be friends with them first before you jump into a relationship or even marriage. Being friends is what I've found to be the best way to find someone that you are compatible with in more ways than one. But I can understand some of the reasoning behind why dating, etc is frown upon in your culture, respectfully. So thus is why you're having a heck of a time finding anyone that you would be compatible with, interested in, etc.

I don't think it's you that has the problem. I think it's your surroundings and where you come from (and I mean no disrespect by this in any way, shape or form, if that makes any sense whatsoever). If you're friends with someone then you can get to know them for who they are, what they stand for, if they will treat you with the love, care and respect that all women deserve. You are right to have high standards for what you look for in a guy and potential mate. Could some men be put off by the vibes you're sending out to them? Are you approachable and likeable in nature? Sometimes a person will be turned off instantly if you have a wall up and have a frown on your face, so they might be afraid to approach you and start that first conversation with you. Of course, I'm not saying you are like this, but rather just throwing out some things that might be of concern to potential suitors out there that might be interested in you. Men like women that are self-confident but yet not stuck up and cocky, they like a person that smiles, that has a good vibe and aura about them. Have you ever seen a person that wasn't very good looking but yet they just had people drawn to them? It's b/c of their personality. People tend to be drawn to nice, polite, funny and outgoing people. Why? It makes them feel good and happy. I'm not saying this is your problem, but it's just something I thought I'd throw out there, b/c you might not even realize that you do some things that turns a man off, so he doesn't get to know or meet the real you. And these may not even be the case with you, it could just be the type of men in your area. It's really hard to say, I'm just guessing as to why you don't seem to have any prospects come your way. If nothing else, if you have any friends, ask them for their honest opinions maybe they can see something that you don't and they can give you some advice or suggestions. Well, I hope this helps you some.

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