AboutSamantha Expertise I can answer most any type of questions relating to marriage and relationships. I have been divorced and I`m happily remarried. I have been through many things throughout the years. I will try to offer solutions to a problem you have whether it be; divorce, adultery, advice on a spouse, etc. I`d be happy to answer, to the best of my ability, any questions you might have. I promise to be unbiased and non-judgemental. As I like to remain neutral and try to see things from every angle possible and keep an open mind.
Experience I have been a volunteer for all experts for over 8 yrs now. I volunteer in 2 catagories/topics involving marriage type issues. I have helped a lot of people.
Question hi, can you help me im very upset with my husband, 6 mths ago i started a new job with two male bosses, all this time my husband has being making smart comments about me and one of them he is convinced im having an affair with him, i have told him over and over again i am not and do not even fancy this man, he then pretends he was messing, he gets on really well with this man and they do like each other, my boss has no idea that he thinks this of him, i went out with my boss and his wife and my husband recently and i tought it would prove that we are just good friends and get on well, after a few drinks and him talking to my bosses wife all night i was dancing and moved out to the dance floor, my husband made a show of me calling me back to him and saying now i know i knew all along that you two were up to something, i got upset and wanted to leave, my bosses wife heard everything im so imbarresed, i know she doesnt think anything like that of us,the next day i was really angry and gave out to him, he appoligised but later on in the day, i was out with my son and i got a text message from him asking was i up to anything on my day off, i texted him back a very blunt f off message and he replied by saying he was joking againg, i feel like i am going mad, i dont know how to convince him that i am not and have never giving him reason to think this,, he is out of work 4 mts but this did start b4 he was out of work so i dont think that has anything to do with it.i really dont know what to think i just feel sick and when i mention it to him now he tells me to stop bringing it up but i just know he is not convinced what do you make of this, please
Answer Hi Jayne~
He's likely saying this out of jealously and he could be a little bit depressed that he's not been working in the last few months. That can really take a toll on a person. And apparently he nothing better to do than to let his mind wander and to make up stories about you. I will say this though. In my first marriage my husband cheated on me, then he blamed me to take the suspicion off of himself, and for him to cope with his guilty conscience. Sometimes a person will often accuse their spouse/partner of cheating so that they don't suspect that they are cheating. I'm not saying that your husband is cheating on you. But I can't tell you how many times I've heard someone say this to me when they've written me question (and they brought this up in their concerns to me, etc). So that is a very real possibility there, IF he were capable of cheating. Just thought I'd throw that out there, not saying it's true, but it does happen in some instances like what you're going through.
As for how to deal with this when he does this. Just ignore him. Don't give him the satisfaction of giving him a response. He's wanting to get to you and push your buttons anyway he can, joking or not. You don't joke about a person cheating, it's not funny in the least bit. If you react like you have been, he's going to keep doing this. Tell him from here on out you are not going to dignify an answer to his stupid and asinine questions that pertain to adultery with your bosses or cheating period. If he does you will just ignore him and not give him a response. Sooner or later he'll grow bored of it and stop.
