Question Hi, i need urgent help, about5 days ago my husband told me he's not sure if he loves me anymore, we've been together since 5 years and married 2 months, yes only 2. how wedding was already complicated cause we're from different countries, and i can understand perhaps he got lot of stress cause of that but i had too, and i was the one who moved. I already asked if there's somebody else, he keeps saying no. i know i'm not perfect but i think i've been always supportive, i listen and respect, i do got my temper but i don't yell or i don't consider myself annoying i'm quite calm. Even i asked a couple of times 'are you sure you wanna do this, if not we can talk about it before is too late' but he did the opposite. I don't want to smothering him with more questions about his feelings or what he wants to do now, anyways he don't answer, i offered counseling but he gotta think about it, i also told him if he wants me to go i'd go, he also don't want that, and then? is a break healthy, i don't think i can comeback after a break is way too painful for me plus embarassign with my family.
why?? why all of the sudden he says he's not sure anymore, was he lying few weeks ago?? he's playing the good old 'is not you it's me' i'm not buying it, should i leave him? should i fight for it? i don't wanna lose him he's the love of my life and right now it gets harder each day cause i live with a roommate, and is so awkward, how should i behave now with him??. the bed issue was also sort of dead since few months yet, no wonder now.
I feel a nonstopping pain in m chest please help me!
Answer Hi Ellie,
I am so sorry for your pain.
Obviously, your marriage is in severe crisis. Sometimes couples who date a long time find that marriage deeply changes the dynamic. Some men and women are surprised to find in the early days after a wedding that they do not like the "feel" of marriage and all its responsibilities and obligations. Many couples are able to work through the difficult first year adjustment period ... and I hope that is what you are experiencing. I urge couples not to make serious decisions about their marriage in the first year since many times it is just a situation that means getting used to what it feels like to be married.
For now, the best thing you can do is to give him his space. Don't crowd him. Just let him do his thing. When he is ready, he should at least come back to work it out, or to have an honest conversation with you. If you pursue, beg, cajole, or threaten, he is likely to decide to leave for good. Take it easy and be good to yourself during this fragile time.
