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Marriage/My husband makes bad decisions


My husband makes bad decisions when it comes to money. He will buy any thing from any body.

We have a business in the city but he insisted on moving 1 1/2 hour away from work. We spent months driving to houses and land. Some of the were 2 hrs away. He fought with me until I signed a contract with him for a dump house in the middle of nowhere. A week after we signed he decided he did not want the house. We barely got out of it.

He insisted on moving and buying a house right before the market was about to go down. I asked him to wait just a little while so we could get a better price. He refused. I gave up because he gets mad and screams and blames me if I do not agree with him.

We bought a house we did not want because he insisted we find a house within 2 months. We paid about $20,000 more for the house than it is worth now and more than it was worth then.

Soon after that he insisted on buying another house because he did not like the house. Now he wants to sell the first house and he hired a contractor to do about $15,000 in work to the house so we can sell it. The work did not make the house worth more because of the neighborhood.

He bought a security system we do not need twice. I had to let them come and put it in. Two days later he did not like the way it worked and blamed he for ruining his night because I had to call and cancel it. He does this with everything.

He wanted to build a house on a property that would have cost $100,000 just to clear the land with a contracting company that is well known as a fly by night company. He screamed at me when I refused saying I ruined his life.

He wanted to find a real estate agent to sell the house so I found a few. We made an appointment with one but he did not show up. I told him that is a red flag. He will not be a good agent. He insisted on getting this agent and making another appointment. We have another agent that is really good and motivated. He will not agree with me to get her because she sells high end properties and he thinks she will not pay attention to our house.

I have tried many times to talk to him about this.  But he when I bring up any of the things he is doing or has done he denies that any of it is a mistake or bad decision.  He will change the subject or blame me.  When I told him we should get another realtor.  He said it was my fault he didn't show up.  He screams at me that it was me that picked him.  When he wanted to buy a house 1 1/2 hr. away he said that I ruined everything for him so I agreed.  Then when he realized it was a bad decision he said I made the decision not him even though he bullied me into agreeing with him.  He usually bullies me into doing what he wants then lies and says it was what I wanted and blames me.  If I tell him that is a lie he just screams at me.

Please tell me what I can do. There are many other things like this he does. Any help would be appreciated.

Hi Chector~

What is it you want out of this marriage?  Do you want to continue in this relationship when he treats you like this, and making everything out to be your fault? This isn't a healthy marriage for you to be in the way it's going.  You deserve better than to be yelled/screamed at all the time.  I'm sure this is stressing you out to the max.  Will he agree to marriage counseling for the two of you?  Something has to change b/c it's only going to get that much worse as time goes on.  He can't be happy being stressed and yelling/screaming all the time at you.  It doesn't have to be this way.  He has some sort of anger issue that needs to be addressed and worked on.  A husband isn't supposed to treat his wife this way.  He's supposed to love her, and care for her and most of all respect her.  

Normally, I would suggest that you talk to him and see if you can work these issues out.  But you'd already said you've tried talking to him and it's done no good, b/c he still yells at you. You should stand up for yourself and not let him run you over and bully you any more.  If he can't love, care for and respect you as his wife, then he simply doesn't deserve you.  Of course only you can make that decision to ultimately leave if he's either unwilling of unable to change his attitude and treatment of you.  The choice is yours and it's one that only you can make. I hope this helps you some.  


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