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Marriage/am i over reacting?


Kinda long but I'll sum it up...earlier this summer, before we got engaged, my fiance was telling me that i was inconsiderate about not proposing sooner because she was getting ready to start school, and i was being inconsiderate of her time...yeah i know...that really pissed me off and hurt my feelings for her to say something like that..

any how once  i did propose this summer, i made it a beautiful experience that involved her family and friends, it was really wonderful, it included a surprise dress, limo, day of pampering, surprise dinner the whole 9.

i got her the ring she wanted that costed me 3600 plus dollars...

i paid it off this summer...its 2 and 5/8th carats, beautiful ring, so nice that people always ask her what does your fiance do? lol...

our wedding is nov 2013, i am shelling out 1000 per month paying for the she wants a 3 carat ring, same style she has now just bigger, she even went as far as telling me how much it would be if i traded her current ring in...i went to check and it would be 4100 more! so im telling her no i cant do that and she has the nerve to be pouting around, and saying shell figure something out because she wants that ring. now mind you with her band, she would have 3 1/2 carats!!

i feel some kinda way like sad upset, disrespected, it makes me think back to when she told me i was inconsiderate about proposing,...weve been together 2 yrs... but now i dont know how to feel, im totally turned off right now and i feel like crap...should i be upset??? please help!

Hi Peter,

Thanks for writing. It does sound you have found yourself with quite a woman, and no, I do not think you are overreacting!! I predict she will be a handful for you in the years to come if you do decide to tie the knot with her, and at this point I am hoping that you will think twice about this.

People tell us who they are by their actions. Some men love high maintenance women who often complain and are rarely satisfied and always wanting more, and other men find it extremely disgusting. Your fiance is showing you loudly and clearly that materialism is one of her values ... if that bothers you, then don't marry her, as I can assure you that this problem will only get worse after you are hitched. Think about it ... whatever house you buy won't be enough, the car won't be enough ... and what man benefits from being told that what he is doing for his family isn't good enough? Over time this theme will wear even the most manly man down, and in the end he'll be angry and bitter.

I believe there is a key that fits every lock when it comes to love. When you meet the one for you it is a fit -- like a hand fitting perfectly into a glove. In this case her value system does not match yours and this is huge. Huge enough to doubt that a life long future with her is a really great idea. By the way, should you get married and end up eventually divorcing, which I think is highly likely, she is the kind of woman that will do all she can to wipe you out. Think about it.

I hope this helps!

Doctor Becky


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