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Marriage/Badly in need of advice please reply ASAP


I am too much guilty because i am going to breakup my engagement as i don't like my fiance, this is because she is skinny and less educated. I'm sure that she will get education but not sure if she will be able to get fat or not. I'm breaking this to save her from violence due to her skinniness. She is beautiful and too much caring and has tried a lot for me, that makes me cry.

She has always supported me and helped me a lot but i am feared that if she can't get fat, i will not be able to do good with her and will make her life misery.. i think that she will be in misery and ruin her life if i leave her but if i stay with her i'm not sure that i will keep her happy and will give her as much love as she deserves... i have told her about breakup but she loves me too much and keeps telling me that she will get fat and do it as soon as possible. I could tell her to wait for year but even after a year if she don't get fat, situation will be same and that is why none of her family will be ready to wait. It is for sure that many people including my and her parents will get hurt due to this decision.

What should i do now, i'm in a big trouble please help me as soon as possible

Hi Darshan~

What if, just what if she can't get fat as you request her to be for you?  Everyone is different in the way they look, act, etc in life.  It's not about her looks or if she can ever get fat enough for you or your families standards.  Being too fat or too skinny is not healthy either way.  Both in one extreme or another (meaning too fat or too skinny) is not good on a persons health at all.  A happy medium or at least a healthy weight are ideal.  But then again nothing in life is ever perfect.  You should love her for her, and accept her for who she is and what she looks like.  Not for her weight.  There are so many people in this world that have eating disorders or hate themselves, and have low self-esteem issues, etc.  The world can be a very unforgiving place.  She should be able to find love, solace and acceptance from you no matter what others say and expect from her.  

I know that in India there are certain things expected of arranged marriages, suitors, jobs, and lifestyles in general.  Sometimes for someone you truly love you will respectfully disagree with your friends and family, especially when you find someone that you love and care about and can see yourself spending your life with someone. I know it's tough to go against how you were raised and what your parents have always expected and told you all your life.  For someone you truly love (and you rarely find that in this world), you would be willing to do what's right for you and her, and what makes you happy.  You are the one that has to live your life, not your parents or friends.  Yes, it's important to take into consideration their opinions.  

I guess my whole point here is that no matter what it's best to accept someone you love and want to be with, for who they are and what they stand for (regardless of how they look, what background they come from and the list goes on and on) and to truly love them for them, not what they dress like, or how much they weigh.  Love her and be with her.  If you simply can not accept her if she's skinny, it's better to be open and honest with her and let her go and move on with your life w/o her in it.  The choice is yours and it's one that only you can make.  


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