Marriage/Husband and injury dealing with it
I'm 27, my husband's 29 and we've been together as a couple for 4 years, married for 2. We live in Bolton, Greater Manchester.
Within the past 2 months he's had an injury from a cycle ride which resulted in him breaking his leg and resulting in a head injury (despite wearing a helmet). There was no memory loss or change of personality, except he thinks he's 65 and I'm 63, and is a retired old man. He's off work on medical grounds anyway.
His leg was broken, he's had physio and is now recovering.
He thinks he's retired, and talks about what to do now he's retired.
He keeps telling me how good I look for a 63-year-old and how sexy I am; he wants sex but I don't, due to his mental state. I worry this could affect him.
He thinks we've been married for almost 40 years, but we haven't.
There has been no personality change (no sudden violence or forgetting his identity), none of the usual expected behaviour as a result of brain injury, apart from thinking he's 65.
No physical changes, apart from a slight limp, but doctors said it will go.
However, I'm worried about him, but he won't see a doctor and I hope this will pass.
I married for better or worse, sickness and in health and I intend to stick to those vows.
How can I help him?
From a financial standpoint, I do worry, I'm the main breadwinner now as I have a high-earning job - we both do, I work in make-up/sales of make-up/distribution of, my husband works in bathroom sales/accessories in managerial role.
I'd appreciate some help as this concerns me a lot.
The accident obviously messed up something in his brain to make him think he's that old. Have you tried showing him his birth certificate as proof that he's not that old and you either? If not, you might try it. Can you take him to his work to visit his co-workers to jolt his memory that he's indeed not retired? It's worth a try. Maybe just maybe it might bring back his memory enough to help him get through this. I would go to the doctor yourself and ask questions on if they think he could ever regain his cognitive memory to where he will eventually remember how old he really is. It may come back or it may not, that's something you have to try to prepare for. I would seek some sort of advice from a counselor to help you cope and deal with this. Other than that it sounds like he's okay in many aspects, with the one exception of how old you both are. That's strange. I would do as much research on it as you can. If he can't recover and remember how old you both are, you just may have to go with the flow and see what happens. I'm sure it will be very frustrating and trying at times on you. I'd strongly urge you to get as much emotional support that you can from family and friends. I suppose if worse comes to worse, you might have to "play along" for his sake (for lack of better words). I hope this helps you.