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Marriage/My husband's fetish worries me (is this an odd one)


Recently me and my husband had a romantic night in together, the night went well, it was on the day after Boxing Day. We had a lovely dinner and a romantic day in; the dinner was candlelit and my husband cooked it, not me!

We were discussing each other's likes and fetishes when we were in bed (actually in bed at the time), and I was stunned to find he had none, except being put in shock or stunned, he told me "in shock like a road accident victim.".

He said he can't explain why he has this fetish, he just does, and wants me to give it to him. Other than that he has no other fetishes, isn't even turned on by me in costumes, and doesn't look at porn (unless you count the fashion catalogues, but are they porn really?)

I refused, saying it was wrong to find being in shock good, but he wants me to give it to him. What if he ends up in hospital as a result? Isn't this lethal?

He wants me to try and help him get in shock, but I've refused out of concern for his health.

He is a loving man, romantic, and kind, faithful, dedicated to me so no question of him cheating on me or going off with prostitutes etc.

I don't understand why he does this; talking to him just got the "I can't explain" response. I was understanding and nonjudgmental when we were talking, listening rather than speaking.

What should we do, any advice on handling this situation? I appreciate the help seeing as this is sensitive.

Hi Dawn~

You have to talk to him more in depth about what exactly he means by "in shock?"  Does he mean to simulate it, or does he actually want you to say, run him over with the car?  He needs to clarify to you the difference between real and pretend.  If he specifically says that he wants to pretend and act this out with you, you could agree to that if you feel comfortable with it.  For example - you can pretend you've come upon an accident and he was a victim in the car (i.e - use the couch to simulate a car seat) and go about playing like you shouldn't move him, etc.  

But before you do any of this you need to sit down with him and discuss this further in detail.  If you absolutely refuse to participate in this fetish, then do not do it.  You don't want to compromise what you believe and stand for just to appease him in a fantasy.  The choice is yours and it's one that only you can make for yourself.  You have to stick to your guns and do what feels right to you.  I hope this helps you some.  


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