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Marriage/Big Problem..


I have been married for 11 years and only 33. I love my wife but our marriage has had a tough time. Been separated a year. We were going to move back in a work it out. My wife told me that she has lost her magic in the marriage and is not in love with me the way i still love her. Can her love come back.

Hi Ronnie,

I am always thankful when the questions here are brief,but yours may be too brief!! There just isn't enough information here for me to give you a really good answer as I would like. Since there isn't, I will just make a few observations ... if you have been separated a year that is a long, long time to be apart. You give me no info as to why you all did this, what contact you've been having, if you have children, and why or how you were planning on reconciling. These are all important factors that a therapist would need to know.

I can say that it is not good news when after a year apart your wife tells you she's not in love and there is no magic. It is hard to get that back, and if it didn't come back after spending time apart and getting some air to breathe and time to think, then it probably won't come back. Still, I'm not the sort who would say that it never, ever could happen.

Another factor is -- is there someone else? If there is, then that really complicates things. I wouldn't be surprised if she has met someone, and if she has, that would completely explain everything.

So, with what you gave me that's about all I can offer. I do suggest that you spend these days and weeks working on being healthy and being the best man you can be. You can never go wrong with a plan like that, and some lucky woman in the future will certainly appreciate it.

I hope this helps.

Doctor Becky


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