Marriage/help me to marry him
Am an Algerian engaged with a Pakistanni who's living in the uk, we did our engagement with my family, and he was in love with me , he was begging me to marry him, now.. after our engagement, he completely changed and treating me worse day after day, and am sure the reason of this is the following two things :
1/ we faced a huge problem with our documents of marriage, and our authaurity required for mix mariage to attet and stamp his birth certeficate in Algerian Ebassy of Pakistan, cause he born there, the worse thing is he lives in the uk and dosen't know anybody in Pakistan to attest it for him.
2/ i like laughing and joking, and that irritates him, and he said that am silly and immature and not made for marriage, but simply i just want to have fun with the one i love...
i need help from you expert, cause we're in break up and don't know what to do, he's not calling me neither txting me nor to come skyping....my family always asks about him, but i lie and say am talking to him, cause they will kill me if they know that he changed you know why?.....cause they were not agree on this marriage first place,
everybody in my relatives and of my neighboors know about this relation, and it will be so shame if we break up for my family and i'll kill my self if i don't marry him, i wanna save this mariage!!
Thanks for writing.
Your letter really concerns me. The reason this is so is because you are practically suicidal over this relationship working out, when it is a relationship that sounds very unhappy and should probably end. In fact, I was happy to read it was over, only to read that you want it back.
Why should it be over? 1. He treated you worse and worse after your engagement, and 2. He thinks laughing and joking is immature when in fact it is a vital ingredient to a happy marriage. Both of these facts tell me that if you marry it will be Avery unhappy marriage, indeed.
Your chief reason for wanting to save it has to do with shame and what your family might think or say. Why should you sacrifice your well being because of wanting to please your family? I understand culture and customs play a part, but I still think marrying a jerk such as your fiancÚ will subject you to a lifetime of suffering and pain, and nothing is worth that.
Please see that the breakup is for the best and not a reason to end your life. There can be much love and fun ahead with someone else if you allow yourself to move on. If you really think you might end your life over this you should visit a doctor. And tell him r her so they can help you. There is so much life ahead -- don't miss it!
I hope this helps.