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Marriage/Girlfriend wants to get engaged, but I am scared



I have been with my girlfriend for two years and love being with her! She is kind, compassionate, honest and loving. Just this month she made it known that she wants us to be engaged in the next six months, with the wedding in a year, and a baby in another year. Most of this has to do with the fact that she is deeply in love with me and at her age (she is 36 and I am 30), she wants to have kids before she gets older.

I love being with her and think she is a great girl and will be a great wife and mother, but I am just not sure if I am ready to get married. We live apart (two hours away) due to work and I am still getting myself on my feet professionally. Lately I have been trying to "convince" myself to be ready to engage her in six months, but am panicking like crazy! I do not want to be lonely or return to the dating scene, and she has been so patient and kind.

Should I just commit to a great girl and hope that I will be passionately ready when the time comes to ask her for marriage? Or should I lose a great girl for the chance of never finding her again and living in guilt that I lost her?

Thanks again for your help I only want to do what is right for us both...


Hi John~

Not everyone is ready for marriage when they get married.  Marriage has a tendency of changing ppl.  It's true and it's either for the better or worse.  I can't tell you what it is that happens and changes a person but it does.  Marriage is a tough institution to commit to.  It's rough and it does have it's ups and downs that's for sure.  The key to having a happy, healthy and successful marriage is that both parties have to learn to communicate on a regular basis.  You have to be willing to talk about what you're feeling and thinking at any given time.  Otherwise how are you going to know what your partner is going through at the time. You both have to be participating in the marriage.  One can not do it own their own.  Marriage is about teamwork and a couple working together.  

Besides if everyone waited for the perfect/right time to get married and have children.  No one would be having children or getting married.  Marriage and commitment to one person can be scary, so is having a child.  They are both life changing experiences in life.  It's all in how you look at it.  And if she's someone you love very much and can't picture living your life w/o then she's the one for you and what's stopping you from doing it.  The choice is yours and it's one that only you can make. I hope this helps you some.


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