You are here:

Marriage/I am concerned about my husband and his employment plans


My husband has told me last night he has applied for a job as an underwear model for a website that caters to some subcultures, and underwear modelling in general; I'm 39, he's 43. He says the pay's good, and he wants to quit his current job as a teacher to do it.
I am of Anglo-Dutch origin; English father, Dutch mother, born in Holland, parents live in UK, but I moved here when I was 25.

I'm worried about if he's having a mid-life crisis and people seeing him online; what if he applies for another job, won't this be an issue? (I mean, you can't exactly put it on your CV can you, not being judgemental here).

We have a 16-year-old son; I am not sure what he'd think of it, but tbh, we haven't asked or mentioned it to him. We also have a 21-year-old daughter as well, who's in universiteit (university) studying bedrijfssystemen en-beheer (business systems and management, if you don't speak Dutch). I don't know what she'd think. However, she lives away from home.

How could this affect us in terms of things like income, our marriage etc. I've tried to be open-minded, but I worry over things like him being exploited, etc. so how should I handle this?

Hi Juliana~

I really highly doubt that he will even be accepted or considered for an underwear model at his age (and I mean no disrespect by saying that).  Model agencies usually only hire younger and perfectly sculpted bodies for modeling (unless it's for plus sized or other modeling that they specialize in). So I really don't think you have much to worry about on this to be completely honest.  And modeling agencies are known to be very picky and brutal with their models, meaning they are judgemental, rude and very critical of their models.  Why do you think modeling careers do not last long for the average model.  Not to mention it's a very stressful profession.

He could be going through a mid-life crisis right now.  I mean everyone has a dream of what they want to be and what their dream profession or job would be.  It has to be realistic though to be obtainable.  I would sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart talk with him.  He needs to know how this is affecting you.  And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this marriage.  

Let's just say he were to be able to do this.  It would most likely have a very negative impact on your relationship and marriage.  He would be around other women, and models.  They would see him in his underwear, which is practically naked.  The possibility and temptation of cheating would be there.  And the list of negatives just goes on and on.  Not to mention if he travelled, etc.  

He needs to see the reality in modeling and that it's not a very good industry to be in, it's a cut throat and ugly world on the inside.  I hope that this helps you, and maybe if you talk in depth with him he will eventually come to his senses.  


All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts




I can answer most any type of questions relating to marriage and relationships. I have been divorced and I`m happily remarried. I have been through many things throughout the years. I will try to offer solutions to a problem you have whether it be; divorce, adultery, advice on a spouse, etc. I`d be happy to answer, to the best of my ability, any questions you might have. I promise to be unbiased and non-judgemental. As I like to remain neutral and try to see things from every angle possible and keep an open mind.


I have been a volunteer for all experts for over 10 yrs now. I volunteer in 2 catagories/topics involving marriage type issues. I have helped a lot of people.


©2017 All rights reserved.