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Marriage/A follow-up on my previous question about my husband and his employment plans


Thank you for replying to my question.
Me and my husband both had a day off work today [he had annual leave to use up, it was my day off anyway] so I decided to discuss it with him.

Although he was cagey on the subculture, he said it was for a magazine that he'd applied for this job. He also explained that there were no women in underwear in this job either.

He said the money earned from it would be good enough to give us a great lifestyle.

I'm concerned, what if he decides it's not for him, applies for teaching or another different job, and can't get one due to the photos (is this a possible problem?)

How should I talk about this to the children? It's not just a case of "Your dad's getting a new job..." speech is it?

He kept insisting the benefits of it; I want to be supportive, but at the same time, I don't want him risking his career if it is a mid-life crisis.

He then left the room and proceeded to the computer, researching about bodybuilding and how to be an underwear model; the dead giveaway was an entire PDF on how to look good as a bodybuilder.

Any further advice is gladly welcomed.

Hi Juliana~

I still find it hard to believe that this is a legit job and that it will pay as well as he says it can.  They've not met with him and interviewed him.  A company or person can say anything they'd like to on the internet and not be legit.  What if it's a scam or it's for some porn magazine? I mean you just never know in this day and age, where ppl try to take advantage of other ppl.  

Yes, you have every right to be concerned about this too.  What if they take pics of him and they end up on a porn site? Or something worse, they can do whatever they wish with the pictures they take and use them for whatever purposes they see fit to do so.  And he has no power or say so.  It's the same thing as posting a nude pic of yourself to someone and you think it's private and for their eyes only and then it goes viral on the web.  I always say to my children that don't take pictures and post them b/c once you do and you hit send the pics will always be out there for anyone to see and use as they please.  Same concept here.  You can never be too safe and it's really unfortunate that you can't trust many ppl out in this world.  So back to your concern of what if he applies for another teaching job and they do a search on him and these underwear pictures turn up and the potential employer sees that he refuses to hire him due to that?  Employers have unfortunately been known to secretly research and look up ppl that they are going to hire, interview, etc.  It's not worth that risk.

Right now I wouldn't bring it up to the children especially the 16 yo, now if you wish to talk to your 21 yo, then that's fine b/c she's an adult and can handle it (most likely).  I would definitely put that off, meaning talking to them, until you figure out what in the heck he's going to do.

Honestly, there are no benefits of exposing your body for profit.  Some ppl can do it w/o a problem, while others can not.  There are always consequences in our decisions that we make in life, good and bad.  In this instance, I see no good to come of this, should he ultimately decide he's going to model underwear.

I would be thoroughly concerned and upset if I were in your situation and this was my husband, I would be adamant that he not do it.  But then again that's just me. I really do hope you can talk some sense into him.  I have a feeling he has no clue what he's about to get himself into.  


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